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26 Weeks, 5 Days: Bracketed and Blended Photography – Starting to Shoot for Getty (iStock)- LA Weekend Coming Up
26 weeks, 5 days. Boy! Is hot out. It feels like I’ve been working non-stop. Last time I posted was my last break. I slept all of that Saturday. It felt like a waste of a day. But I rested. Sunday I went to Valle de Guadalupe to get some fancy dining on at Deckman’s…
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26 Weeks, 0 Days: Food Photography for FEAST (and more) – Trade Business – Keeping Busy is Best
26 Weeks, 0 Days. I’ve been feeling better. Even my therapist says it sounded like I’ve been better. Therapy is good. Even though it’s only once every two weeks for just a short period of time and it still feels like I’m just paying someone to hear my awesome stories (hah, yeah right). It helps…
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25 Weeks, 2 Days: Turtle for Mom, Ceremonial Ash Tattoo – Pride and Time – More Photo Work Please
25 Weeks, 2 Days. Many times, I start the blog because I say I will write today. Then stop. And do nothing. It feels like today is one of those days. But I shall write some stupid shit about my feelings and the week I had and my new tattoo. First, breakfast. Birria tacos probably.…
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24 Weeks, 3 Days: It’s Mom’s Birthday – June Sucked, July Shouldn’t – Memorial Ashes Tattoo
24 Weeks, 3 Days. It’s mom’s birthday today. She would be 62. My brother posted a sad post. It made me cry immediately. I hate it how easy it is to make me cry. And it’s not like a small cry. It’s uncontrollable sobbing. It happens randomly when I think of her. It happens many…
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23 Weeks, 2 Days: Slow June and Crippling Depression – Afterlife Continues – Shit Post
23 Weeks, 2 Days. I woke up to the news that a classmate died of cancer. I was never really friends with her. But I was friends with her husband when I was in middle school. I haven’t really seen the dude in many years, but I do have him on Facebook, so I’ve kept…
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22 Weeks, 4 Days: Tamara in Tijuana – Weird Dreams and Broken Mirror – My Cover Shot I Like, More to Come
22 Weeks, 4 Days. My mom showed up in my dreams. It wasn’t specifically just her. She was barely a part of it from the little I remember. And she was with my dad… There were two girls in that dream. One was Asian American. The other one was white and not my type but…
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22 Weeks, 1 Day: Procrastinating and Unpaid Work – Going to Therapy – Rosarito Foodie Fest Cuz I’m an “Influencer”
22 Weeks, 1 Day. I originally was going to write at 21 weeks, 4 days. Procrastination and the willingness to do absolutely nothing got the best of me. I do nothing but play video games and… then play more video games. Ok. I did something yesterday. And something the day before. So at least something.…
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21 Weeks, 1 Day: Nelson Bar Guitar – Past Thinking, Sleeping, Drinking, and Starcraft II – Life Got Dull
21 Weeks, 1 Day. I haven’t written anything since I got back. I haven’t done much since I got back… I thought I was coming back to a mountain of work. I was worried about my car registration. Not only was it lost and suspended, but it also needed a renewal. I crossed the border…
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19 Weeks, 4 Days: Post Vacation Depression – CDMX In Tons Of Pictures Through IMGUR – DMV Tomorrow, Tons of Work Next
19 Weeks, 4 Days. I’m depressed to be back. It’s not Tijuana. It’s life. I guess that’s what I was trying to avoid. Because… Tijuana… Tijuana is still great. My last night in CDMX was a lazy one because it was a Monday. Not much to do on Mondays I guess. Much less when your…
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19 Weeks, 2 Days: Loving CDMX And Coyoacan Where I Was Born – Hanging Out With Rockstars (Not Literally) – Vacation is Over, Sad
19 Weeks, 2 Days. Last day of vacation. CDMX has been a wild and entertaining ride. I do not want to go back to border crossing life reality. I’ve been so distracted that thinking about mom all the time has diminished. I almost lost count again… it’s weird. Life still feels weird. This city has…
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18 Weeks, 3 Days: Murdered Nostalgia in Queretarock – Cervecería Hercules is a BEAST (and More Beer Back Home) – Rinconcito Chill and Astrophoto
18 Weeks, 3 Days. Mom would have loved this place. I’m in Tecozautla, Hidalgo, in the ranch of my friend’s parents. The ranch is called Rinconcito, and for now, it’s just a lovely open-court house and not much of a ranch. Their property stretches quite a bit though, and you can see the future of…
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17 Weeks, 2 Days: Bowling Solo, Achieving High Score – Wrap Up Work, Vacation Time Soon – GoT and Such
17 Weeks, 2 Days. Whenever someone mentions my mom… I get to the verge of tears and hold back. Typing that I basically had the same reaction. I know. I know. It’s healthy to cry. But trust me, I’ve done it enough. And I rather not do it in public. I cry almost on every…
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Week 17, 0 Days: Busy with Work, Birthday, Viejito Fest, Projects, Photos, Yacht Life, And All That Jazz
Week 17, 0 Days. I haven’t been able to sit on my desk in more than a week. This is the first time I sit down without a mountain of things to finish… And I still have a lot to finish. So I can’t really be wasting my time with my blog. But I need…
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15 Weeks, 3 Days: Nightmare Week Starts Soon – Great Weekend, Tons of Work – Moving On is Healthy
15 Weeks, 3 Days. For the first time since January 19th, I sort of forgot the count. It’s not like I count on purpose… just every day I woke up thinking how long it has been. And this week, it sort of passed me by. I knew Saturday was week 15, though I had my…
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14 Weeks, 2 Days: Post 500! – Fantasy Girls (Palm Giraffe) – So Much Work for May – Querétaro and Mexico City Travel Plans (Unclear!)
14 Weeks, 2 Days. Waking up still sucks. I don’t think I’ve had a decent night sleep all of 2019. I usually wake up at 3 or 4 a.m., drink some water, then I try to go back to bed. And. I never do. I just lay there. My brain constantly attacking me with depressive…
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13 Weeks, 3 Days: Waking Up Sucks – Painted on a Mural – Tryin’ To Keep Myself Busy (Post #499)
13 Weeks, 3 Days. I hate waking up. Waking up is the worst part of my day. Mostly because it means I’m some sort of sober. Mostly because I’ve been waking up at around 3 a.m. having nightmare negative thoughts and being unable to sleep again. Those thoughts are still pretty much the same. I…
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13 Weeks: Website Gets a New Look To Make Pictures Look Prettier – CDMX/Querétaro Itinerary Going Well – Did a Business (or Two) and Eating at Cine Tonalá
13 Weeks exactly. Mom left this world 13 Saturdays ago. I think about her from the moment I wake up. I think about her through the rest of the day. Always holding back some tears… I miss you so fucking much mom… It’s still not real. It still feels like I’m going to see you…
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12 Weeks, 4 Days: Depression is a Bitch (And so are you) – Found a Strange Note on a Strange Day
12 Weeks, 4 Days. And apparently, blogging every day. And what a strange day yesterday was. Depression is a bitch, but I’m handling it alright (I believe). I woke up feeling better. Early as fuck again. Wishing I could sleep more. But feeling better. Stupid comments made me feel slightly better. Silly how they often…
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12 Weeks, 3 Days: Mexico City/Querétaro Vacation Next Month – Lovely Suicidal Thoughts – Financial Woes
12 Weeks, 3 Days. I just bought a ticket to Mexico City from May 22nd to June 4th. Before and after buying it, I was stressing out over financial concerns. I still fucking bought it. $150 was the total. I need tacos before I continue. I need to write for profit instead of writing to…
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12 Weeks, 2 Days: Tijuana Netflix Review – Good Days/Bad Days – Depression and Food Poisoning Weekend
12 Weeks, 2 Days. There are good days. There are bad days. Good days can be great. Bad days are horrible. Good days are when I get to work and my job is fun and satisfying. Bad days are when little things happen and my brain goes to “fuck everyone.” And it was a wild…
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11 Weeks, 4 Days: Juanster in Tijuana, Tequila, Sexo y no Marihuana – FB Memories – LiLo Because Why Not
Juanster is asleep on the couch after two nights of Tijuana Adventures. It’s been many moons since I ventured down to Zona Norte and the brothels. I spent a lot of money that I really shouldn’t be spending. Ok. It wasn’t that much. But it was still money that disappeared for falling in love and…
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11 Weeks, 2 Days: Busy Afterlife – Great Show at Mous Tache (PLEASURES) – Brunch of Photo Shoot (and Many More to Come)
11 weeks, 2 days have gone by. It still feels like if I went out to college or just not living near my mom like I did for a long time. Then after 3 or 4 months of not seeing her. I would get home. That comfort of home. That’s gone forever. And that’s why…
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10 Weeks, 3 Days: Still Miss Her, Still Sucks – There Are Good Days (and Tons of Work) – Addicted to Tetris 99 (and one victory!)
I woke up at 4:35 a.m. to the sounds of “Estos Celos” by Vincente Fernández. It was playing loudly from a car idling on the red light on the corner of my building. That’s my old roommate’s go to song in karaoke. His Spanish gets worse as time goes by. Then it felt heavy. My…
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After Life: 9 weeks, 3 days – Gay Partying – Depressed but Still Okay (There’s Good Days)
9 weeks, 3 days. After Life. I spent all day yesterday destroyed from a massive hangover induced by heavy drinking since early and ending up in the gay bars with my gaybor and his friend. That’s my gay neighbor = gaybor. 2 caguamas at Dandys. My gaybor joined me then (it was around 2 pm).…
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First Blog of 2019: The Most Painful Year – Going to Church, Work, and Therapy – My Mom Always Read This Stupid Stuff
I knew 2019 was going to be shit. I never imagined it would begin in the most painful way… I haven’t blogged or written much for obvious reasons. Those who know me know what happened. The person that I love the most in my whole life is gone. It’s difficult to type or write anything…
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