25 Weeks, 2 Days.
Many times, I start the blog because I say I will write today. Then stop. And do nothing.
It feels like today is one of those days.
But I shall write some stupid shit about my feelings and the week I had and my new tattoo.
Birria tacos probably.
Monday morning and like always, I feel weird and unsure of what to do with my week.
I’m unsure if I want the birria tacos.
Or if I should shower before going or after.
Just emails and wait to see work.
Just got an email that my request for more money got rejected.
I need to do way more work outside of the work I do because the work I do is starting to feel unstable again and I’m not sure what to do.
I’ve only gone to therapy twice and it feels like forever ago. I don’t get to go until Friday morning. It helps. Not sure why.
I’m hating this post already.
And a super up close picture using the macro rings.
Oh yeah. I hung out with Andy two weeks ago and he gifted me his old macro rings. Macro photography is tricky. I’ll be doing more with it. It’s good for product photography.
Yes. That’s the ceremonial ash tattoo.
It was done by @Tattoosbychino_TJ
Chino closed his shop on Revu and is now tattooing from his home. He has a really nice studio. And Chino was great not only on his work as a tattoo artist but on doing a small ceremony with some of mom’s ashes, burning some sage, and giving a few words.
It made it feel a bit more special.
I felt a bit like a shitty client because I told him about the idea forever ago. Then right before my mom’s birthday, I insisted it had to be done on that day. His machine had broken. He didn’t have the autoclave and told me I should get a dentist to do it. The first dentist told me yes, then backed out on it, and the other was uncertain. But it worked at the end.
And I love it.
It’s peeling right now.
And it’s on extra itchy phase.
In like two days, it shall be normal. And I’ll have a hairy nipple again. Or who knows. I might be shaving that area just so it looks nice.
I want more tattoos now. Haven’t gotten one in years.
The chest didn’t hurt much.
It did for the first 5 to 10 minutes as he was doing the main lines. Then spray spray anesthesia juice and didn’t feel a thing for the next hour or so.
I had shrimp tacos, not birria tacos.
Those tacos that are superb but change the cheese so they weren’t as good anymore, but now that I just got back they are using the good cheese again and it’s been a while so they are fucking good again.
I wrote an article about it years ago. Shit. Almost exactly three years ago. July 10, 2016. A day after mom’ birthday.
Everything feels like forever ago sometimes.
I ate the shrimp tacos while watching the last chapter of Stranger Things.
Oh, fuck you Stranger Things.
You made me cry twice.
It was Billy’s memory that El looks into that made me cry.
It reminded me so much of mom.
She would have liked this last season.
She liked the other seasons.
It was a pretty great season.
The first 5 chapters I binged watched them one night till 5 am though I had to work the next morning. Somehow, it was fine. I went to work. Didn’t feel tired much. And ended up sleeping early that day.
My sleep schedule was reset a bit. So now I’m back to a normal sleep cycle (hopefully). That means sleeping before midnight and waking up before 8 a.m.
Need to be more productive.
Need to make more money.
Need to work more.
Always say that shit, never do anything for it.
At least I have the AIRBNB photographer application open. I’ll fill that out when I’m done with this.
After the tattoo, I had dinner for my mom with my brother, his wife, the kids, my SIL, and her mom and sister.
Mom would have liked that dinner as well.
And the wine (Nebbiolo from Casa Magoni).
We went to Riochia 7.
It was lovely.
It was also expensive.
And it was for my mom. So I wanted to pay.
That and the tattoo = I spend more money than I have.
And two days later, my cousin called. He sounded like he had an emergency. He wanted to borrow some money.
I don’t have much money.
June sucked and I barely got paid.
July started a bit slow but it’s picking up, but I just got denied the extra money that I thought I could get…
And I still gave him some money.
I figured I probably won’t get paid back. Not because I don’t trust my cousin, but because literally, I don’t have a Mexican bank and getting paid back would be a hassle.
And I don’t want to ask for money back.
I don’t like lending or borrowing money.
So instead, I just gave him a bit less than half of what he asked for and told him not to worry about it.
I hope he does better.
I feel shitty for both, not lending him enough money, and for giving him money. And for the situation to be in that you have to ask for money.
I hope I never get there.
But life is depressing as shit sometimes that giving up sounds good.
Not let that shit happen.
July is still going to be good. It’s been good.
I went to the Pride Parade on Saturday.
First time doing pride in a long time.
It was very gay.
But also very corporate.
I took too many pictures. And I was under the sun a bunch. And every store was packed.
The parade starts to damn early and I parked way too far.
I took so many pictures that my CF card got full and missed the gayest part of the parade (the end).
Not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing…
The whole experience would have sucked a bit if it wasn’t that I found my buddy Brozo.
Social media posts indicated that there were other buddies in there too. But so many people. And Brozo was also working it. It’s always nice to work next to Brozo’s side.
I also got to hang out with Chad and his wife.
Friends are good for depression.
And I drank a bunch of beers.
And played Smash.
And took care of another photography gig at the same time.
Definitely, need to get more photography gigs. And make business cards.
AND FIX MY WHOLE PAGE.
Ok. I have work to do.
Now I just really have to do it.