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32 Weeks, 3 Days: No More Burgers Please – Weekend Depression, Anger, and Frustration – Scum of the Earth
32 Weeks, 3 Days. August went fast. The year sort of stretches and collapses. Sometimes it’s really slow. Sometimes it’s really fast. Erase whiteboard. Throw up the new schedule. September looks busy. And when it’s slow, it can get really slow. And when it’s sad it can get really sad. And when it’s mad, it…
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31 Weeks, 2 Days: “The Achiever” according to Enneagram – NFL Fantasy Has Begun – Still Alive… I Guess
31 Weeks, 2 Days. I just scheduled two payments on my student loans from North Dakota. Yes. My student loans come from North Dakota for some shitty reason. I still owe $5,500+ and I’m paying $105 per month. Which… really hurts. My other student loans are bothering me as well. I ignore it. I don’t…
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30 Weeks, 1 Day: Food Makes Me Happy – Any Minor Failure Makes Me Wanna Die – Gaming with the Nephew
30 Weeks, 1 Day. There’s a chair sitting next to a table that belonged to my grandma and the table was supposedly my grandpa’s who I barely met. On that table, I have some of my mom’s ashes inside and urn that was my grandma’s surrounded by several of her turtles with two big paintings…
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28 Weeks, 3 Days: The Daily Battle – Waking Up Sucks – Typing Away in a Bar
28 Weeks, 3 Days. I haven’t been having the best of days. Waking up is the worst part of my day. I just feel heavy with no motivation to even get out of bed. And I still fight through it. Make some coffee. Drink a lot of coffee. Work out a bit. Have breakfast. Shower.…
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27 Weeks, 3 Days: Drinking El Segundo – Jamming with Hudson – Driving Donatella Far
27 Weeks, 3 Days. More than half a year. It still feels so weird. It still feels like I’m going to see her on some holiday break. It still makes me cry when I realize I’m not going too. I didn’t do much yesterday. I’m not doing much today. I don’t like it when I…
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26 Weeks, 0 Days: Food Photography for FEAST (and more) – Trade Business – Keeping Busy is Best
26 Weeks, 0 Days. I’ve been feeling better. Even my therapist says it sounded like I’ve been better. Therapy is good. Even though it’s only once every two weeks for just a short period of time and it still feels like I’m just paying someone to hear my awesome stories (hah, yeah right). It helps…
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25 Weeks, 2 Days: Turtle for Mom, Ceremonial Ash Tattoo – Pride and Time – More Photo Work Please
25 Weeks, 2 Days. Many times, I start the blog because I say I will write today. Then stop. And do nothing. It feels like today is one of those days. But I shall write some stupid shit about my feelings and the week I had and my new tattoo. First, breakfast. Birria tacos probably.…
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22 Weeks, 4 Days: Tamara in Tijuana – Weird Dreams and Broken Mirror – My Cover Shot I Like, More to Come
22 Weeks, 4 Days. My mom showed up in my dreams. It wasn’t specifically just her. She was barely a part of it from the little I remember. And she was with my dad… There were two girls in that dream. One was Asian American. The other one was white and not my type but…
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22 Weeks, 1 Day: Procrastinating and Unpaid Work – Going to Therapy – Rosarito Foodie Fest Cuz I’m an “Influencer”
22 Weeks, 1 Day. I originally was going to write at 21 weeks, 4 days. Procrastination and the willingness to do absolutely nothing got the best of me. I do nothing but play video games and… then play more video games. Ok. I did something yesterday. And something the day before. So at least something.…
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19 Weeks, 2 Days: Loving CDMX And Coyoacan Where I Was Born – Hanging Out With Rockstars (Not Literally) – Vacation is Over, Sad
19 Weeks, 2 Days. Last day of vacation. CDMX has been a wild and entertaining ride. I do not want to go back to border crossing life reality. I’ve been so distracted that thinking about mom all the time has diminished. I almost lost count again… it’s weird. Life still feels weird. This city has…
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18 Weeks, 3 Days: Murdered Nostalgia in Queretarock – Cervecería Hercules is a BEAST (and More Beer Back Home) – Rinconcito Chill and Astrophoto
18 Weeks, 3 Days. Mom would have loved this place. I’m in Tecozautla, Hidalgo, in the ranch of my friend’s parents. The ranch is called Rinconcito, and for now, it’s just a lovely open-court house and not much of a ranch. Their property stretches quite a bit though, and you can see the future of…
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17 Weeks, 2 Days: Bowling Solo, Achieving High Score – Wrap Up Work, Vacation Time Soon – GoT and Such
17 Weeks, 2 Days. Whenever someone mentions my mom… I get to the verge of tears and hold back. Typing that I basically had the same reaction. I know. I know. It’s healthy to cry. But trust me, I’ve done it enough. And I rather not do it in public. I cry almost on every…
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Week 17, 0 Days: Busy with Work, Birthday, Viejito Fest, Projects, Photos, Yacht Life, And All That Jazz
Week 17, 0 Days. I haven’t been able to sit on my desk in more than a week. This is the first time I sit down without a mountain of things to finish… And I still have a lot to finish. So I can’t really be wasting my time with my blog. But I need…
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15 Weeks, 3 Days: Nightmare Week Starts Soon – Great Weekend, Tons of Work – Moving On is Healthy
15 Weeks, 3 Days. For the first time since January 19th, I sort of forgot the count. It’s not like I count on purpose… just every day I woke up thinking how long it has been. And this week, it sort of passed me by. I knew Saturday was week 15, though I had my…
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14 Weeks, 2 Days: Post 500! – Fantasy Girls (Palm Giraffe) – So Much Work for May – Querétaro and Mexico City Travel Plans (Unclear!)
14 Weeks, 2 Days. Waking up still sucks. I don’t think I’ve had a decent night sleep all of 2019. I usually wake up at 3 or 4 a.m., drink some water, then I try to go back to bed. And. I never do. I just lay there. My brain constantly attacking me with depressive…
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13 Weeks, 3 Days: Waking Up Sucks – Painted on a Mural – Tryin’ To Keep Myself Busy (Post #499)
13 Weeks, 3 Days. I hate waking up. Waking up is the worst part of my day. Mostly because it means I’m some sort of sober. Mostly because I’ve been waking up at around 3 a.m. having nightmare negative thoughts and being unable to sleep again. Those thoughts are still pretty much the same. I…
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13 Weeks: Website Gets a New Look To Make Pictures Look Prettier – CDMX/Querétaro Itinerary Going Well – Did a Business (or Two) and Eating at Cine Tonalá
13 Weeks exactly. Mom left this world 13 Saturdays ago. I think about her from the moment I wake up. I think about her through the rest of the day. Always holding back some tears… I miss you so fucking much mom… It’s still not real. It still feels like I’m going to see you…
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12 Weeks, 4 Days: Depression is a Bitch (And so are you) – Found a Strange Note on a Strange Day
12 Weeks, 4 Days. And apparently, blogging every day. And what a strange day yesterday was. Depression is a bitch, but I’m handling it alright (I believe). I woke up feeling better. Early as fuck again. Wishing I could sleep more. But feeling better. Stupid comments made me feel slightly better. Silly how they often…
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12 Weeks, 3 Days: Mexico City/Querétaro Vacation Next Month – Lovely Suicidal Thoughts – Financial Woes
12 Weeks, 3 Days. I just bought a ticket to Mexico City from May 22nd to June 4th. Before and after buying it, I was stressing out over financial concerns. I still fucking bought it. $150 was the total. I need tacos before I continue. I need to write for profit instead of writing to…
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11 Weeks, 4 Days: Juanster in Tijuana, Tequila, Sexo y no Marihuana – FB Memories – LiLo Because Why Not
Juanster is asleep on the couch after two nights of Tijuana Adventures. It’s been many moons since I ventured down to Zona Norte and the brothels. I spent a lot of money that I really shouldn’t be spending. Ok. It wasn’t that much. But it was still money that disappeared for falling in love and…
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10 Weeks, 3 Days: Still Miss Her, Still Sucks – There Are Good Days (and Tons of Work) – Addicted to Tetris 99 (and one victory!)
I woke up at 4:35 a.m. to the sounds of “Estos Celos” by Vincente Fernández. It was playing loudly from a car idling on the red light on the corner of my building. That’s my old roommate’s go to song in karaoke. His Spanish gets worse as time goes by. Then it felt heavy. My…
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End of November: Not the Ideal Way To End The Year – Waste of a Month, 2019 is Near – Venting (It’s Really Over With Bumble Girl Now)
I was wrong. I thought we were going to end up as friends. She is great. She has a big heart. She’s good towards everyone. After the things she said almost two weeks ago, it should have ended there. She said nothing but friends. That’s where I should have stopped. But we kept talking. And…
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Sad End of the Year: Losing in Fantasy and Everything Else – Migrant and the Drama Llama
It’s some sort of holiday in Mexico. It’s some sort of holiday in the US. It means nothing to me. I had a horrible Monday after having a great weekend. It all started to go downhill on Sunday… When she left. And I started missing her. Then, on Monday, I got that dreaded text. “Let’s…
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Sucker Punched to my Face by a Stranger Outside Nelson Bar – NFL Fantasía – Spending More Time with Bumble Girl
I got sucker punched on my face last night after exiting Nelson around 1 a.m. or so. That’s how this story begins. It was a crazy Monday. It was a crazy weekend. It has been some very interesting days since I met her. Yes. The Bumble girl I met and that I like. We are…
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Late-October Blogging: Not a Seattle Story – Halloween Tomorrow (Yes, Cow) – Fantasy Winning (NFL in Español)
Sigh! Shit is weird Y’all. I write, therefore I am? I stopped writing for a while and then it takes so long to figure out how to do it. And… I don’t remember how… Let’s start writing in Spanish because another week of NFL went by and I won… again! Oh. I won last week…
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