Sucker Punched to my Face by a Stranger Outside Nelson Bar – NFL Fantasía – Spending More Time with Bumble Girl

I got sucker punched on my face last night after exiting Nelson around 1 a.m. or so.

That’s how this story begins.

It was a crazy Monday. It was a crazy weekend. It has been some very interesting days since I met her.

Yes. The Bumble girl I met and that I like. We are still hanging out. In fact… we spent over 36 hours together on Friday and Saturday.

Didn’t expect that.

Didn’t except get sucker punched on the face by some stranger.

Shit didn’t escalate. And the punch was really weak. So I’m all good.

Bryan got headbutted and cut open his lip. Bumble girl was about to go gangster on dudes and fight them all. Princess Paola was on the same page. Somehow, it de-escalated. In a really weird way…

Last blog post I mentioned my money fantasy is over. That still makes me a bit sad. I just have to work harder. But today is pay request. And I am requesting a pay of $0.

Great. From making a nice hefty paycheck. To nothing. And my student loans are up my ass.

I need to work more.

But it was a week of crazy distractions.

My Tijuana story is FINALLY OUT!

Check it out!


Or here!

Or just fucking click anything that is hyperlinked.

It was well received. No comments on it… and the comments on the Facebook post are stupid.

But from the people I’ve talked to, it was well received. I wrote it so fucking long ago. I haven’t written anything for the magazine in such a long time… I was doing the other gig that paid handsomely.

Now I need to get back to writing and do more work and still do the other gig and more gigs.

I should write about the caravan.

I shouldn’t write about the caravan.

That’s me right meow. It’s too mainstream and everyone and their mothers is talking about it. So I should probably avoid it.

Deep breath.



I feel the mark on my forehead where the dude sucker punched me. Not swollen at all. It was merely a scratch. But I feel where it was.

It reminds me of when Javier Bardem spat in my eye. And I remembered for days exactly where his spit hit me. Here’s that blog post.

So what happened?

It is still somewhat of a mystery.

Bumble girl came to hang out. I wasn’t expecting her. I wasn’t expecting her last week either. And though I feel like we are great together, we are like fire and gasoline.

Not sure who is the fire and who is the gasoline…

But as soon as we start hanging out, time goes insanely quick, and next thing you know it’s super late, she has to cross the border, and I have to go back home. Even though we like each other, we are still just friends.

I’m taking things slow. If there are things to take. Rare. But I don’t mind. I just enjoy her.

And it was a Monday of enjoying her. She got here early. We had a beer despite saying we weren’t going to have a beer (that’s our norm). Then we had tacos.

Then we had more beers. And Dandy del Sur for some cocktails.

Bryan met us there. He then went to do his thing and we went to Border Psycho for food since Mondays aren’t the best for a variety of food…

And of course, more beer.

Bryan met up with us there. And Princess Paola happened to be there. And that’s when the shitnado went on full blast.

After that, Nelson Bar.

Especiales and more especiales and more especiales. Jolly great old time. It was near closing time and we decided to head back to my spot for a nightcap.

As soon as we left Nelson, some crazy chick told Paola to speak Spanish because she was Mexican and in Mexico. Paola was like “bitch, I’m with American friends and I can speak whatever language I want.” Crazy chick was still talking shit for absolutely no fucking reason. Crazy chick was also with a gaggle of fucking stupid dudes.

The altercation grew as Paola call an Uber while a taxi offered services. She just yelled, “I’m calling an UBER!!!!”

Crazy chick was at the hot dog stand and suddenly I saw a salt shaker fly by me intended for Paola… Crazy chick seriously just attacked her.

I pulled them all out. Because crazy chick was with a bunch of 20-year-old dudes. They were on the chubbier side. They were all way shorter than me. But it was still 4 dudes and 3 girls against 2 dudes and 2 girls.

Bryan got headbutted out of nowhere and his lip started bleeding.

I got sucker punched… turned around and the dude ran back behind his buddies. The fat dude that seemed the most reasonable… I came up to him. And I was like “dude, seriously? Your buddy just punched me from behind. That’s not how you do this shit. We are going to walk away because there is no reason to fight.” It wasn’t like that. It happened to fast. But it was something like that.

Fat dude had his fists up and his buddies behind him. Paola and Bumble girl were screaming shit and Bryan was also ready to throw down.

And to be honest… so was I.

I knew cops were nearby. It wasn’t worth it. Fighting is never worth it. They were just some fucking strangers.

So somehow. It de-escalated. I want to take credit for it, but I honestly don’t even know what happened.

I just remember pulling my “crew” out of the way and repeatedly saying is not worth it. I had to pull Tilly because she is gangster and was ready to jump on any of them.

Oh yeah.

Bumble girl has a name.

It’s Tilly.

That was it.

That was the fight. It could have been way worse. I carried Tilly piggyback ride style back to my place while Paola and Bryan talked about what happened. We stopped for tacos real quick. But the thrill of the fight had all our stomachs in a knot.

I still can’t believe it happened. And I’m so glad nothing else happened. Though part of me wanted to know how well I could do in a fight. I’m getting bigger. I’m not the scrawny motherfucker I used to be. Still, not going to fight.

AND FUCK! Hagrid was at Nelson Bar. Actually, a lot of friends were at Nelson Bar. We could’ve had backup!!!

Of course, Hagrid is not his name. It’s Goyo. He is a badass dude. And you can guess why I call him Hagrid. Dude is taller and bigger than me and has a huge beard.

Now NFL FANTASY in Spanish.

And then. Work?

What a crazy fucking life.

The fight is still in my mind. What a weird crazy night.

I got work tomorrow. I got work on Thursday. I have work today. And I need to start writing.

And I’m going to play racquetball for the first time this afternoon.

The migrant caravan just walked by my house. Well, part of it. It was a good 50 migrants. They asked for money or anything to the cars they walked by.

They are still walking by…

Tijuana is going to be crazy for a while.



Caravana de Migrantes. I should write about that. But no. I’m going to write stupid shit about NFL in Spanish!

Review de Fantasía!

Semana 11.

Y me fue de super fantasía. Entonces empezamos por ahí.

Tijuana Hookers 171.74 vs 146.50 Jaiba Brava

La semana empezo brava en Jueves con el partido de los Steelers que destruyeron a las Panteritas. La Jaiba se puso brava. Mucho mas brava que las últimas semanas. Agarro el TE McDonald y empezo con mas puntos de los esperados y yo tuve a mi Flex WR el Ajedrez Divertido que no hizo nada de puntos. La balanza se movía para su lado. Y la balanza seguía de su lado, ya que los que normalmente me dan puntos, no hicieron mucho. Boyd y Hunt no hicieron lo suyo y se quedaron cortos. Y Fitzmagic no trae la magic part desde que lo agarre. Mientras una de las ofensivas mas debíles le dio el balón a RB Johnson para darle a la Jaibas 37 puntotes. La Jaiba continue con su bravura con sus dos mejores jugadores de los Saints, Drew Brees y Michael Thomas que juntos le dieron 56 puntos. Gracias a la super ventaja de los Saints, Drew el Abrejas Brees fue retirado del juego para que la Jaiba ya no sume mas.

No se veía nada bien de mi lado. Nadita bien…

Pero Chubb el gordito de los Browns salió con una jugada realmente de fantasía. 92 yards from scrimmage. La jugada mas larga de toda la temporada. Tenía 13 puntos predecidos, hizo 36. KABOOM! Ooo… y después de eso esta Ertz quién le pone todo el hurt a cualquiera. Las aguiluchas perdieron, pero no antes de que Wentz le tirara TODOS sus pases a Ertz. Puntos. Puntos. Puntos. 40 en total. La defensa de los Ositos también me da resultados. Y la destrucción de los Saints hizo que mi pateador también sumara ridiculamente. Y en la banca tuve dos jugadores que hicieron muchos mas puntos que mis otros WRs. Pude haber roto la marca de 200 puntos… Casi casi top no solo de mi liga, pero de todo el ranking.

Aún así, con ese puntuaje soy el que más puntos tiene en la liga. Siento que me puede ir bien y llegar a ganarlo todo, pero también puede que ni llegue a los playoffs con mi suerte de fantasy.

La siguiente semana me enfrento a el Rey León la siguiente semana que se ve difícil y la Jaiba se enfrenta a los Roosters que tienen pequeñas esperanzas de los playoffs todavía.

Y ya que hablo de los Roosters, no metieron ni las manos otra vez esta semana. Y aunqué hubiera metido su banca que como siempre, le hizo mas puntos, el pelón y sus Dolphlundgreends destruyeron.

Roosters 103.46 vs 149.48 Dolphlundgreens

McCaffreey 37 fue el unico que le hizo punto a las chocopanteras de Cam Newton, mientras WR Brown sumo 22, y así 59 puntos de trancazo en Jueves. Ya con eso se veia muy díficil al Roosters. Nunca se recupero. Siempre estuvo a mas de 30 puntos de distancia. Nunca paso nada. El partido básicamente era de el pelón desde el Jueves.

El pelón se enfrenta al estilazo de Sánchez en un duelo divisional por el primer lugar. Los Roosters esperan que la Jaiba no sea tan brava para poder seguir respirando.

Y aunqué Sánchez ya esta perdiendo su estilo, ese fue otro partido que ya estaba definido ya que el Noobz esta peor que el Roosters.

SanchezStyle 129.32 vs 92.66 Noobz.

Ooof. Pobre Bryan. No quiere tener esperanzas. Pero aún así…. las tiene. Todavía puede llegar a los playoffs, pero necesita un milagro. Ni su mejor jugador le dio los puntos que se supone que le daba. Y los demás. Pobres. Todos son un volado y muchos no le sumaron ni 5 puntos. Y el Bryan si tenía esperanzas, ya que Sánchez no suma tanto como antes con unos miserables (para el) 129 puntitos.

Será interesante el duelo divisional por el primer lugar. Mientras que los Noobz se enfrentan a los Thunders que por fin pudieron sumar algo.

Thunders 144.80 vs 128.20 Ocelopilli

La suerte de el Andrew Suerte Luck y que Elliot se puso las pilas para el Thunders le dieron el gane ante un Ocelopilli que se ve bravo, pero que esta ves no pudo morder. Saúl también tiene la mala suerte de dejar en la banca jugadores que suman y esta ves fue lo mismo. WR Ingram se quedo en la banca con 25 e igual que WR Davis con 25. 50 puntos tirados a la basura. Le hubieran servido bastante, pero a Mario no le llego la suerte de novato. Todo se definió en MNF y su RB estrella Barkley no hizo lo que se esperaba. TE Kittle hizo mas, pero no lo suficiente, Ebron en la banca le hubiera hecho mas puntos. WR Kirk no le hizo ni madres. Su Flex tenía que ser su segundo TE.

Ahh. Un desmadre. Fue buen partido. Los Thunders siempre estuvieron adelante. Pero nerviosos. Ocelopilli puede estallar en cualquier momento y sumar a lo pendejo. Con eso, Thunders están cerca de los playoffs, especialmente por que va contra los Noobz la siguiente semana, pero falta un par de semanas para que se defina todo. Ocelopilli va contra los Mongooses por otro duele divisional.

Y por fin, Mongooses del Simbos 110.22 vs 133.12 Lion King.

Que paso ahí? Parecía que el Simbos lo tenía… El Jueves los Steelers destruyeron, Big Ben sumo 36, Juju 19, y Conner menos de lo esperado y se lesionó, pero aún así parecía que esos Steelers le dieron un buen inicio. Pero fue lo unico. Agarro la defensa de los Jets para luchar contra la peor ofensiva de los Bills. No le dio resultado. De hecho, le quitaron puntos. Mack no sumo y en su banca RB Kerryon Johnson fue el unico que le hizo punto a los leones. Y el otro león hizo justo lo que se esperaba. Se predecia 133 puntos. Hizo 133 puntos.

Se sintió luego luego en Domingo que Lion King se comía a las Mangostas. Dos TDs seguidos. WR Tyreek Hill llevandosé muchos puntos de KC (que deberían haber sido para mi Hunt). Y todo lo demás le funcionó normal. Calladito ganando y en tercer lugar.

Este post necesita foto. Y como todavía no me dan portada… here is a fantasy post picture.

I don’t have a picture to share since I haven’t gotten a cover lately. Next cover is not going to be mine. But the cover after that most likely will be.

And I have more work to do. And more writing to do. After posting this, I got to email my bosses and figure out wtf.

I’m nervous about that. But I’ll be fine.



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