31 Weeks, 2 Days.
I just scheduled two payments on my student loans from North Dakota.
Yes. My student loans come from North Dakota for some shitty reason.
I still owe $5,500+ and I’m paying $105 per month. Which… really hurts.
My other student loans are bothering me as well. I ignore it. I don’t even want to check how much I owe. It’s around 20k. A bit less than that. Like 18k.
I can’t pay for both.
I can only pay one (and barely).
It would be nice to be left alone until when I can actually afford them.
I swear I do want to pay them back.
Or papa Bernie can be president and take care of it. I still want to pay them. At least a good chunk of it. After all, I did go to college for virtually free (like it should be).
At least I got paid on Friday. Some money that was delayed for weeks. And I did a bunch of photo work, so they paid that.
And I have more upcoming photo work! Already did a couple and still have to do a few more this week.
Today, I supposedly meet with this very rich dude for the possibility of my book. This kid has never known the meaning of having no money. I wonder if we will connect. If he will give me some of his money on the project they want me to work on.
Let’s see what happens.
I emailed them trying to confirm the meeting for today. No response. But let’s see what happens.
I’m still looking for more gigs…
In fact, I woke up feeling all shitty and depressed over my wasted days… That I applied for a job.
Real Estate photographer that says “if you like driving and taking pictures, this is a perfect job for you.”
That’s what I like doing it.
It was an extensive application.
And at the end of the application, it tells you that you need a full-frame camera.
I only have a crop sensor… and all my lenses are crop sensor.
I might have to do the jump to full…
The application also made me take a personality test.
I got “The Achiever” with balanced wings. Personality type 3.
“People of this personality type need to be validated in order to feel worthy; they pursue success and want to be admired. They are frequently hard-working, competitive and are highly focused in the pursuit of their goals, whether their goal is to be the most successful salesman in the company or the “sexiest” woman in their social circle. They are often “self-made” and usually find some area in which they can excel and thus find the external approbation which they so desperately need.”
That all seems true to me. And then some.
“Threes can sometimes find intimacy difficult. Their need to be validated for their image often hides a deep sense of shame about who they really are, a shame they unconsciously fear will be unmasked if another gets too close. Threes are often generous and likable but are difficult to really know. When unhealthy, their narcissism takes an ugly turn and they can become cold-blooded and ruthless in the pursuit of their goals.”
Yeah… That also is spot on.
It rings true to my last blog post that when I’m successful, I’m very happy, but any minor inconvenience or rejection and I become shitty.
That’s the Enneagram test. You can take that shitty test here.
It fits people in a box which I don’t agree with, but after reading all nine types… well…fuckers. I fit in that category. So good. I guess?
I’m not sure if I’ll get the gig.
I should get my SENTRI.
That’s next for sure. SENTRI. That’s a big buy.
And to fix my car.
This word vomit is extra vomity, huh?
I did nothing yesterday and that’s why I woke up depressed.
All I did was wake up early to do the draft of the Fantasy Football league. Oh yeah. That’s about to begin. And my weekends (especially Sundays) will have a stupid silly purpose. Watch football with friends from afar.
My brother joined this tourney. He has no idea what he is doing. Let’s see what happens.
I’m pretty content with my team and can’t wait for this shit to start.
But after the draft, which ended at around 11 a.m. I had nothing for Sunday. Sánchez was talking to me through Battle.Net and having a beer, so why not join a battle? Kirby joined in.
And after that, I had breakfast. And after that… I had a beer that was in my fridge. Beers. I had 4.
Two Colima special edition brewed with Maui Brewing (and others). Helles tasted like a pineapple Weizen and a red IPA that was more IPA than red. The red IPA was better, nice and hoppy.
Juan Cordero by Insurgente that was flat and shitty. Really weird to have a bad Juan Cordero. They hit me up because I called them out on it… they shall fix their mistake.
And Rosa Salvaje by Insurgente. That was delicious and wished I had more of those.
Four beers down, not even 5 pm… and out I went into oblivion.
Nelson. Saw some punk friends. Hung out with them while I finished my caguama.
Norte. Saw a friend who’s friend just died, we smoked a big blunt and had a beer while observing the amazing sunset.
Sunset was amazing. Didn’t have my camera but just my iPhone. That will suffice as this word vomit’s picture.
Then Dandy’s… More beer. Felt kinda drunk. Not even 9 pm, walked home drunkenly. Grabbed a Tecate tall can before getting to my apartment, I didn’t drink it. Just passed out on the couch at roughly 9:22 pm.
Woke up at 3:25 a.m.
Went back to sleep.
And that for hours. Until 9 a.m. when I decided 12 hours of sleep is enough. Feeling shitty for doing nothing. For damaging my liver.
I guess I played a lot of The Messenger.
That’s a really good game, albeit, somewhat easy. It’s a Ninja Gaiden brought to 2019 with retro graphics. It has a bit of Shovel Knight, a bit of Celeste, a lot of old Gaiden and a lot of all the retro-modern games.
And hilarious text.
I could have written that fucker. It’s very ‘a la’ me. Very word vomity. Very non-sensical. And funny.
I guess I’m missing the funny part.
That’s what I did Saturday as well.
Got drunk by my solo while playing The Messenger then watching Gallos Blancos lose against León 4-0 and losing their super leader status in the Liga MX.
They still in third place, which is good, but that 4-0 hurt a bit.
That Saturday I did wake up to edit 700+ pictures. Cuz yes! Work!
Been doing some like I said…!
Burgers to be precise.
Tons and tons of burgers.
I don’t even want to eat another burger ever… I still have like three or more to go. Tomorrow I have two gigs scheduled. And I should schedule another for Wednesday.
So… looking back… it was actually a good week followed by a very slow weekend that brought me down because I woke up to doing nothing and nothing was in my plans ahead.
I shall try to get busy again. Busy is good. Even if it doesn’t pay. Just stay busy.
I just realized I haven’t uploaded my latest two Reader covers…
This one was for Feast:
Very good miso bathed fishy. The starchy sweet potato was meh though. I would have chosen something different for the cover, but oh well, I’m not the editor.
And then… this!
Yeah… That Saturday sucked for work. I forgot that I also paid extra for parking and didn’t charge them for that… oh well…
That was just some random kid that was walking by and I asked him if I could take his picture with the hat real quick. I didn’t think it was going to make the cover. There it is.
After an unsuccessful attempt at a photo shoot, some randokid got cover. He wasn’t even from San Diego or the school. I wonder if he saw it. I hope he did.
The year is going fast, except when it goes slow.
Words of wisdom.
But yeah… just like that… It’s going to be a year without my mom. And I still feel different. And I always will. Sort of just want to die… But I’m not dead. So might as well try my best at being my best.
Words of wisdom. Not really. Post. Figure out my week. Apply for more jobs.
And oh yeah…
I should really get on that.