49 Weeks, 5 (6) Days: First Blog of the Year, First Cover of the Year, and First Story Sent – Starting 2020 Alright – Almost a Full Year of Being Motherless

49 Weeks, 5 Days.

I did nothing for NYEs and that’s exactly what I wanted. I would actually not mind going partying or anything though I don’t care about celebrating NYEs. I was just tired. And I don’t feel like I deserve a party. I party almost every day…

2019 deserves a big fuck you.

I was happy by being sad.

At this time last year, my mom was getting really sick and not eating. I wish I had the clairvoyance to take her to the hospital right there and then… but my mom hated hospitals more than anything else and she would have refused. And who knows if it had made a difference.

Just two more weeks, and it would be a complete year without her. The closer to the date, the sadder I get. The saddest anniversary.

And at the same time… It’s my niece’s birthday.

I thought I had to cross the border today and do my delivery route… but the office is closed. I didn’t do my delivery on Xmas because I wasn’t around. The office told me I was going to get paid for it even without doing it. They never mentioned anything about NYEs delivery. I emailed them twice to no response.

I also finished that Michael Jackson piece I said I was going to finish.

I sent it early this morning after polishing the final details.

The office is closed.

I won’t hear about it until… who knows when.

I’m running out of money and I have no clear money-making gigs in the near future. 2020 starts shitty. But I’m optimistic.

My eldest brother hit me up. I told him about my book. And for some reason, that inspired me to look at Amazon publishing. I did before, but then ignored it. I worked on it yesterday, it looks great as an e-book and Amazon makes it really easy to publish.

I’m putting it out there for $5 and deleting it from the Tijuana Adventure page soon. Or just leave it as a tease or something.

It has gotten way better response than I thought it would. People actually read that crap. According to word counter webpage, the book has a 9th-10th grade reader comprehension level.  My Michael Jackson piece qualified as 11th-12th. That’s better.

Then, the same brother asked me why it didn’t have pictures, graphics, or videos.


He hasn’t read a book in his life, so it’s no surprise that he got put off by me writing a book that is 99% words minus a couple of pictures.

Graphics do not qualify for my book (how would they).

Videos make absolutely no sense.

Has anyone read a book with videos in it?

Pictures… yeah. But I don’t need more than just the cover picture and maybe some art here and there.

It’s a book.

About the shit I did.

With words.

Also, according to word counter webpage, it takes less than 3 hours to read and less than 5 hours to speak.

Financial woes are distressing me. My guaranteed $500 a month seems to not be there though I got no warning about it. It should still be there.

My guaranteed $200 a month that used to be $400 a month is totally not there. There has been no talk about it and I honestly do not want to do that gig anymore. Yes. The money was nice. But the gig has never been absolutely clear and it makes no sense to me. I was just wasting my time. The money is nice, but working on stuff for that stuff to not ever make it anywhere is dumb.

All those other extra gigs are nowhere. I have no idea what my future with the magazine is in 2020. But at least it starts with a cover picture!

Here’s a very low-quality Jpeg of it:

The office is closed. The higher quality picture usually gets uploaded to Facebook. Not sure if it will. If it does before I finish my blog, then I’ll replace it.

That on the cover… was one of the most delicious meals I had in 2019. I hope more delicious meals come my way in 2020. It will be difficult to overcome. I was very spoiled with food in 2019.

I need one of those gigs that I got a bunch last year that they paid me $100 or more for doing not much. I need more than just one.

Money problems are making me consider making Tijuana Adventure a thing again.

And why not.

I’ve been wanting to be more independent from the magazine and from everything else. Doing beer tours might be my savior.

No more strip clubs.

Maybe every once in a while.

But that’s definitely way behind me.

It’s odd to think that 10 years ago… I was still a paparazzo.

2020 plans are the same plans I’ve been repeating for my whole life.

Exercise more. Not really gym. I need a tennis partner. A solid one. Not a fucker that’s going to betray me. Not a fucker who adores Trump (this one is not that bad as a tennis partner, but still). Exercise more. I have not done as many push-ups or sit-ups as I should this winter. Almost none at all. Doing 20 push-ups hurts now. I have to get back to 100+.

2020 plans are to write my second book.

First… publish the one I wrote on Amazon or maybe somewhere else. That’s almost all done. I will be working on that this week so I can start working on the next book sometime soon.

2020 plans are to write way more in general. Not in this stupid crap. This doesn’t pay me. But thanks to anyone who reads my stupid crap.

No. More character stories and more Tijuana stories in general for the magazine. What I originally was doing when I started. What I’m good at.

I hope that Michael Jackson impersonator piece gets accepted.

I hope my $500 guaranteed a month is still there.

If not… then I’m truly fucked and scrambling for jobs.

My tía says she’s not worried about me. I’ll be fine.

My brother says the same thing, I can get jobs if I want… it’s just not that easy though.

I just got invited to some pozole servings.

Pozole sounds great.

My brother’s mother-in-law made vegan pozole at the same time last year. Or somewhere the vicinity. I remember I got a huge Tupperware of pozole after my mom died. It was delicious and comforting for what its worth after the shittiest experience of my life.

I still have that Tupperware. I should bring it back. Maybe they will fill it up again.

Yes. I’m going to go get that pozole. Then I’ll come back finish this… polish my book for Amazon… and try to see if I can get it publish and make money that way.

$5 sounds good, right?

And fuck labeling it $4.99.

I hate that shit.

49 weeks, 6 Days.

I had some vegan pozole. It was delicious just like last year. And just like last year, I have a big Tupperware filled with it. Meals for days. Especially for this cold.

After vegan pozole, I played some BotW and then I went out to Norte Brewing. The idea was to talk to the owner about future tour plans and about the map on the Reader, but he was busy bartending with his brothers. It was a cool thing. Middle brother owns a bar and for the first year of 2020, they worked it together. It would be a cool thing to do with my brothers.

Except… my brother owns a screen printing shop. I would still do it. One day or more of the year just screenprint with my bros.

A bar would be nicer.

A girl I met on Instagram more than a year ago planted a fantasy in my mind of us owning a bar by the beach selling beer and her always on a bikini. That’s a nice fantasy.

She’s hot.


And the girl that I was dating. Yeah. It’s not going to happen. I thought it would last through the winter, but nah. She said some shit that bothered me and I decided to cut it off. She said she wouldn’t apologize because she’s being honest. And that’s fine.

It gave me time to think.

And with that time, I realized that I’m putting up with her just because sex was great. That’s not enough. Great sex is … well… great. But the rest of it… is not very great. So oh well.

There goes great sex…

She is cool as well. Cool chick for being young. But that’s the thing… I haven’t dated girls in forever. She’s a girl. I usually date women… older women. Or at least the same age.

Dealing with someone that still lives with their parents is not my thing (and she’s lived with a boyfriend before and says she pays to live there… but still).

That’s that.


My $500 guaranteed a month by being a delivery boy is still there.

I’m crossing today to pick-up the delivery. Trade the Switch BotW for MarioKart. Do an errand/favor for my brother. Probably eat Luigi’s pizza. And do some grocery shopping. Bagels, cheese, meatsies, and more things to cook with.

My bank account is low, but the guaranteed $500 makes me feel better. I forgot that I have money for my fantasy football victory (that’s like another $200). And my Michael Jackson piece is sent… if that gets accepted, then I’m cruising by January no problem.

Put up my book on Amazon. That’s the next goal.

After that… I’m going to be ANNOYING as fuck pushing my book for a while.

Let’s see what happens with that.

The cover was updated! Finally.

So here.

Gotta start a new folder for Reader covers 2020! Starting up with one is great… and another one next week I believe…

I ate the kimchi there. It was delicious. I had the Jeyuk-Deopbap to go. Left it in my fridge for two days. Microwaved that fucker.


I want to return just for that.

It was like milanesa mixed with kimchi in a bed of rice. High-quality pic just because it was great.

The restaurant is Chon Ju Jip in Kearny Mesa. GO CHECK IT OUT!

(the salad was meh)

My blog is running out of space.

Worth it for that picture of that delicious thing.

I also got spoiled by chef Jojo twice last year. That story hasn’t come out. That’s going to be another cover.


And I also got booked perhaps for a private tour with Tijuana Adventure. She found me through Trip Advisor. That’s old info. I’ve probably rejected more than a dozen tours in the past couple of years… It might be time to go back to it.

My terms.

Oh yeah. I also got an email for my first photo mission of the year. It sounds like it will be a fun and semi-challenging one.





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