100s of Celebrities Posted as the Blog Nears the End – Unreleased: Paparazzi Pay Stubs – CTM: Jason Segel

I do not want to get this day started at all.

I’ve been avoiding the blog.

I woke up early.

But bed is so comfy, I just stayed in for a couple of hours.

Then the phone rang. Who the fuck is calling me at 8:22 am?

Answered. Didn’t say anything. Didn’t hear anything. I hung up.

Time to get up.

Get this week started.

It feels like I have nothing to do, but I actually have a shit of things I have to finish. I just don’t want to do any of them. I want them to magically do themselves.

I really need to finish the Haitian article so I can move on and pitch my next couple of articles.

And I also need to take Bisho to the vet again.

And switch addresses.

Fix my student loans…

Tell the Red that they should pay me.

And find more work to do!

There’s no food in the fridge.

My stomach is making hunger noises.

Oh yeah!

It’s Celebrity Throwback Monday.

That should get this slow start of the week going.

And I’m coming close to the end of this journey that has been blogging 1,000 words a day for a year.

Great exercise. No idea why I did it. I mean… to practice writing and what not. But still…


I was going to do Fergie but I already did.

Here’s the Fergie post.

I posted it exactly one year ago.

Because it happened seven years ago. And I still remember the day.

Funny I only posted that set. I saw Fergie a lot. So I have a lot of pictures of her. I even have pictures of her in Playa del Carmen.

Her house used to be in a dead end, which was easy to spot. Ben Affleck lived nearby. And someone else… I forgot who.

So three for one on a dead end!

And Fergie was always so nice.

I remember the above picture because it was during Christmas season. I did this job by myself. They both were really nice. And as they were going up the escalator I yelled Merry Christmas. And they gave me this over the shoulder shot. Over the shoulder shots are fucking killer and magazines like them. So it got a bunch of prints. Also. My brother was obsessed with over the shoulders.

My lips are so dry. There is still no humidity. And the air feels dry in general. Fuck this weird windy dry days.

I should work out, but I’m still sore from bowling. That was on Wednesday of last week!

At least I’ve been working out. I did more yesterday than usual.



My team lost.

I was out of the playoffs anyway.

Now to play the losers consolation playoffs against Kirby.

And probably lose again.

Oh well.

Thoroughly enjoyed my first year in fantasy football though I got completely destroyed and my record ended 3 winds 11 losses.

Checking TMZ to see more celebrity news… and YEP.

More sexual allegations.

Now Mario Batali.

Calling the dude creepy. That’s one of his major characteristics. I didn’t even know about him until I watched him on Hot Ones. And creepy was one of the first things I noticed about him. I mean, he was cool and he knew his food, but he didn’t strike me as a dude I would love to hang out outside the kitchen…

Like no shit.

Why do I feel like these are all obvious? And why are women shocked by men’s behaviors? Men are scum. Men are easy. You can seduce them into giving you all their money…

And who is next?!


I just went through a lot of TMZ.

That was a waste.

No ideas came to me either…

And I really need to get this week started.

Oh yeah.

I wanted to share something I’ve never shared before and people ask me about it all the time.


This is what they looked like when I was freelancing.

This is from the agency that tended to delete zeros from the sales. But it was still good money for me.

I noticed it when my brother and I went to take care of Fergie. He got paid thousands more than I did.

I had no way to complain or pressure my bosses. I was young and naive.

And I was still making over 4k a month. It was good times for a 21-year-old me.

Hey! I found pictures of Jada Pinkett Smith with Willow Smith.

I never saw Will Smith.

But apparently, I saw his daughter and wife.

Pictures are meh.

I’m coming close to the last two celebrities I’ll post before wrapping this up and be done with posting celebrity throwbacks…

Shit. I already posted Jeff Goldblum.

Alright. Getting shrimp tacos while I think who would be good to post for almost the last time.

It’s been a lot of them y’all.

Told you. Around 150.

Two more.

But first.

Shrimp tacos.

Them tacos are so messy but so damn good.

Two folders of Jason Segel.

One stupid story to tell.

Let’s look at the pics.

The first time I saw Jason Segel was on February 8, 2009.

I had no idea he was going to be at LAX.

First of all… I’m a big fan since Freaks and Geeks. Everything he has been on has been great. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is one of my favorites. And he is the best character in How I Met Your Mother (tied with Neil Patrick Harris).

So one day…

Slow day at LAX. Didn’t have many people in the list…

And what do you do in very slow days?


Smoke in the parking lot and get real high and then go about and walk around the airport.

That’s what I did.

I just remember walking around, suddenly seeing him Jason Segel and thinking “I smoked way too much for this.”

I’m a fan. I didn’t want to take pictures…

I took a few pictures with my long lens. They were crap.

I was nervous. And really high.

So I just came up to him. And I was like “Jason. I’m a huge fan. I’m also a paparazzo. But just wanted to let you know I’m a huge fan.”

He was like “What?! What is this? Is this a joke?”

Just kinda laughed, thanked me, and we shook hands.

Then I said, I’ll wait for you outside.

I was so excited to see him. And he was nice. And I told him that James Franco and Seth Rogen were dicks to me. And I was happy that he was nice.

He was confused. I was high. I remember we chatted a bit. It was awkward.

I let him be.

The second time I saw him, I don’t really remember. But I could tell he was really nice again.

March 3, 2010.

Jason Segel is a nice guy.


Now back to work out. The blog is coming to an end. It’s about time to finish it.



Finish that damn article.

Take Bisho to the vet.

And do all the other things I’m supposed to do that I don’t want to do. Including fucking laundry.



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