At the airport at 7 am.
About to board the plane.
I turned around before going through security and there she is running towards me. Crying. I can’t leave yet. I can’t.
It sorta happened like that.
Yep. I’m still with her. And I haven’t felt like this from…. I think my whole life. Maybe when I was 19 and I thought I fell in love for the first time. That ended up hurting a lot…. A lot.
But it was worth it. I grew. And I want to grow. She inspires me.
Life does change fast.
Out of nowhere we are already making silly plans. It’s been less than a week, but I already see myself in her friend’s wedding in Monterrey on April. We is has feelz. And it’s scary. But it’s unavoidable.
Yes. I did skip Mérida.
But I decided yesterday, not at the airport. Out of fear of losing her. Or just not spending any more of my time without her. It’s been in the movies. It has been written about. You talk to couples. They all say a similar thing, “when you know, you know.” In a sense, I know.
I think of past girlfriends. In a way I had to force my feelings. I wanted to feel something, I wanted to have a girlfriend, so in a way I faked them. But I never stopped looking for someone else. In a sense I was never faithful though I never cheated. This just feels different. I have no desire of anyone else. Fuck I’m CHEEEESY.
Back to the routine though.
Not just for me. For her too. For us.
Which by the way. She is new in Tijuana and needs a job.
I know this reads unreasonable, but she is a very smart and honest working woman. I know so.
Her interview yesterday didn’t go so well. They didn’t say no, but hinted towards it. So now she is scrambling for a new job. I would hire her. I feel like I did.
Shit. I should write her a contract.
We sort of do.
But it’s so fast. So damn fast. It hits hard and fast. Who knew.
This is dumb.
This only happens in the movies.
This is not real.
This is fiction.
I need to apologize. To whoever reads this, because it might get cheesier and cheesier. I’m inspired to work. To better myself. To clean the fuck out of my apartment. Tijuana Adventure needs to grow. I should finish those two articles that I was supposed to finish one week ago. I wonder if my editors wonder. Wonders. Wonders. She wakes up wondering a lot. I see her mind racing. Sorry. I went back to her. She is sitting right next to me, and I’m thinking of her. She sleeps next to me, and I dream of her. This is bad y’all. This is real bad.
WHO I REALLY NEED TO APOLOGIZE THOUGH IS
Isabel, sorry I let you get on the plane by yourself. I truly wanted to go to Mérida. I mean, I paid for the change of names on the ticket. I made plans. I had freedom to do whatever I wanted. And some money save to have fun.
Mario. Fuck man. One of the main reasons I wanted to go was to hang out with you. I know it was going to be brief because you were going to Mexico City. But just seeing you would have been great. I really hope to see you soon. It’s been a long time my friend.
Mario. Carnal. Se te extraña bien cabrón. La vida pasa rápido. Y ya había empacado, estaba listo para ir a Mérida. Pero llego ella de la nada y no me le puedo separar.
That card is in my wallet. It has been in my wallet since I left Mexico for the first time at age 17.
Mario gave me that card.
The gist of it says that he appreciates our friendship and always be friends kinda thing. The writing has deteriorated so it’s illegible. The point is, Mario is a really good friend. At some point my best friend. And I have had so many best friends through the years. I guess I’m lucky.
And not to go back to her, but she is as well. I feel like I already know some of her friends. In fact I met one of them yesterday (Melina, and she was awesome).
I’ve only had two wallets in my “adult” life. My original velcro wallet that I kept until a year or so ago. And this new cheap Levi’s leather wallet. I just wanted to look more professional. It’s a comfortable wallet.
Random wallet thoughts.
Short future plans:
- Finished them two damn fucking articles (or query again, because fuck I need to work)
- Help her find a job. If anyone has a good job offer or that they know about, please, let me know.
- Clean the house. Kinda. I rather pay someone to clean it. But clean clean clean. I’ve been a slob. And I can’t anymore. Like when Chad cleaned the fuck out of the house the first time his girlfriend came over. Never seen him clean that much. She got with me on accident. I had no time to prepare. To hide my hideous single guy apartment. Shit. It’s a mess. It’s my mess. But now it’s our mess. And it can’t stay like this.
- Advertise Tijuana Adventure some more. My friend Brenda Shappu does tours and we are going to do some sort of allegiance to work together for mutual benefit.
- Get my license. Ok. This is another of them fuckers I should have already done. But life. Life just gets in the way and suddenly it’s February and I have … a girlfriend? It’s too fast to call her that. But I’m certain that I want her to be.
Real short future plans:
- Kiss her. Okay, just did that. :) Stupid emoticon that expresses how I feel.
- Push-ups (only 20 so far, and have been skipping them… )
- More coffee
- Work. She goes for her laptop so she can work on finding jobs. I will pace around the apartment and work. We both hate work. But we both need to do work. She doesn’t believe me, but she showed me her writings and she is better than me. She says it’s an illusion. It probably is. But I don’t get tired of listening to her blabbering. Hah! Blabbering sounds mean. But it is not. It fascinates me. Her blabbering is like my word vomit. She should write.
“Perdoname Dios por esta loca vida.”
Her right now.
Sorry everyone for this rambling of a blog and crazy life. I was supposed to be in Mérida right now. Doing nothing (pretending to work). I’m home thinking about what we are going to do about the future, can’t even decide on breakfast. I know what she wants. Something with tons of salsa. Salsa. Tons and tons of salsa.
Almost forgot to mention Trump. Still. Fuck him. How much longer do we have of this bullshit?! Seriously people. Just fucking take him out of office already. Mike Pence is still really horrible, but he wouldn’t be so laughable for the rest of the world. This is getting fucking ridiculous. It’s been to short as well.
See. Life changes quickly. Via politics. Via feelings. Via whatever.
We could all day tomorrow. Or the next second. But here we all are. Living. Working. Dreaming. Fucking. Dying.
It’s all pointless.
All together now!
And yes. I did see Lady Gaga. Here is that post.
Fucking Spotify commercials. They inspire me to make more money so I can pay the monthly premium bullshit just to never ever hear those fucking commercials. I hit the mute button so fast and hard whenever they come up.