I’m doing nothing but waiting again. It sucks.
I got offered the job. I accepted it. I’ve done all the paperwork and tests. I’m still not scheduled to work. They let you know ahead of time, but it’s almost February and I have no idea what days I’m working or not.
I’ve gotten four emails about tours this year. One is for February, the other two are for June, and the other one already happened.
It was a busy last week. I like busy.
I had a photoshoot with a doctor in Tijuana for a cover of a local magazine. I had a photoshoot in Alpine for a health government agency and that paid well. I sold a bunch of books. I did a tour on Saturday.
I recovered January. My wallet has money and my bank account doesn’t look scary empty. Still… not nearly as full as I want it to be. And I have no gigs this week. And I am not sure what is going on with the job.
The tour was great. Like many others, he found me through Reddit. He had visited Tijuana a bunch which makes a tour a bit more difficult. He had read the book, so he already knew a lot of details about my life.
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Tijuana Adventure – Confessions of a Tour Guide!
Paparazzi Daze – Celebrity Encounters
And NEW NEW NEW
Tijuana Adventure – Confesiones de un Guía de Turistas
The tour was the classic tour. It started early. 11 a.m. There was shit ton of traffic to the border so I got there a bit late. Since he had been in TJ a bunch, it was difficult to take him to new places. I drove him around and went for some coffee, though he didn’t drink any coffee. From there we went to Tacos del Koshy. And then I took him to the places that he hasn’t seen much before, La Cacho, Hipodromo, almost to 5 y 10, the soccer stadium, and other views of the city.
When it was time to drink, I dropped off my car at my apartment and he got to see what a TJ apartment is like.
Then I wondered how many strangers someone lets in their house? And at the same time. That’s what we do? Right? Just invite people over. He wanted to meet my cats. So even they are popular.
The tour did it’s classic loop in downtown. Some Plaza Friki, some Pasaje Rodriguez, and a bunch of breweries. Then back to the border.
THERE WAS A FUCKING 2 HOUR WAIT LINE!!!! Sorry that that happened Josh. I really fucking hate the border line…
When in Tijuana, you ride the rollercoaster then you wait in line.
Last Monday started with a photoshoot to promote my book. My new friend, Ana the Chinese Tijuana emo girl, took the pictures.
She did a great job. She has an interesting life. She should write about it. Or I’ll end up writing it for her. Easy cover story.
Here it is in Instagram post format:
Tuesday I did the photoshoot for the Tijuana magazine. My editor for the book in Español got me the gig. It paid nicely. And we had time to take some photos promo for my book. Our book. Without her, there would be no book. Gracias Karlha.
And yesterday, I did more photos for my own book. I have a presentation this Thursday. My editor has insisted that I should do a presentation.
Wednesday, I edited photos. I don’t remember doing much besides that.
Thursday, January 19th.
My niece’s birthday. The day my mom died. It’s been four years. It still feels like a different life.
That day will always hurt so much. The day she died, I drove east to Santee to take pictures for the magazine. I was having a good time taking pictures but I told the guys in the story that I had to go back because my mom was in the hospital.
She died while I was telling her about my day. Her last words “I’m tired, I just want to close my eyes.”
And then everything spun around like in the movies. And I couldn’t stop crying.
I cried a bit while driving east. Then I stopped for a shitty Jack in the Box breakfast and composed myself. I got a photo gig. One that paid well. Gracias Bertin.
I photographed around two dozen people of all different backgrounds, ages, etc. Some were excellent. Some were okay. I hope they all liked my work.
It was a tiresome Thursday shoot. I did not drink that day. I just ate a gigantic sandwich from Jersey Mike’s. And went to bed thinking about my mom.
She shows up in my dreams often. Not as the main role. She just exists. Not in the background, but like a supporting character. Like knowing that she’s always there. Then I wake up and it takes me a bit to remember that she’s gone even though it’s been four years.
But it’s good to have work. Even if it’s in that painful day.
Friday I edited. And I deposited my check. Then I went out to sell books. I have 13 books left. There are eight more in Baja Panam. I’ve given away only three. Which means I sold half. I made my money back and a bit more. Barely anything more. Books make little money. But I survived January.
Books are only good so I can say “yeah, I wrote a book.” Sunday I went down to act as a store from early on. I also drank from very early on. I regret drinking that early.
A dozen people asked me about the book and talked to me for a long time about it. I only sold two.
And I didn’t sell any prints. Prints usually sell by themselves.
The only thing good thing about writing a book is the ability to say “yes, I wrote a book.”
I’ve written three…
More like two and a half…
The English version and Spanish version of the Tijuana Adventure books differ. I took out a handful of chapters (especially the end) for the Spanish version and wrote new ones. The English version will be updated soon and it will have chapters not found in the Spanish version.
Sort of like Pokémon Blue and Pokémon Red. They each have content the other one doesn’t. Except… these are in two different languages.
If I ever translate the paparazzi book, there will probably be no variation. Pokémon Yellow.
I haven’t done any TikToks, yet my TikToks keep getting popular. I have over 9k followers and growing daily though I do nothing.
I shall do a TikTok today. I shall try selling more books. I need to order another box of books soon. I need to figure out if I’m working as a travel dance photographer or not.
I didn’t even use my backup. I could always write cover stories for the San Diego Reader. I have five drafts and still write nothing. I told the editor that I would finish one before January ends. I also drunkenly texted an editor from a different magazine that I was working on something for her. I sort of regret the text. I’m a writer that doesn’t write.
I should write.
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I didn’t mention my ex-girlfriend at all (until now). Good. I’m trying to forget her. But in reality, I miss the fuck out of her. I still don’t get why she made me fall in love just to leave me.
I went on a Tinder date. I didn’t say much about that. It went fine. But I don’t think we’re right for each other.
It’s going to be tough to fall in love again. 2023 better get busy. Because alone, bored, and at home it’s the worst.