Chapter 24: Tecate Virus – Uncertainty for All – Tits Out at Dandy’s

Chapter 24.

Fucking Tijuana.

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I woke up feeling sick. My head hurts. It feels hollow. I have a bit of a cough. Not much mucus though I am spitting more often than normal.

I got that Tecate Virus.

Except, I didn’t drink Tecate yesterday.

It might be the Corona, but I really doubt it.

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I got Influenza years ago in 2009. It was a horrible week. It didn’t help that my brother didn’t believe me. I asked him to get me a thermometer after three days of staying in bed just sweating and drinking OJ. He bought me thermometer fucking sleeves! SLEEVES!!!

That obviously never helped. I never checked my temperature. But I am sure it was influenza because it was the worst fever I had in my life and I literally did not leave my bed for almost a whole week.

I survived it.

I was young.

I’m still young.

This pandemic is either out of proportion or it’s going to kill a bunch of us. Either or, I’m fine. The world is filled with selfish people, especially boomers, and that’s who we are concerned with? That Boomers might die if this goes even more viral?

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Tijuana be Tijuana though.

Hong Kong is never going to close. While a whole city shuts down, just right below the border, people are sharing and eating the same pussy for a dollar or so. If you haven’t been and have no idea what I’m talking about, it looks a little bit like this:

Two (or more) naked girls on a stage covered in shaving cream. For a dollar, you can finger their pussy. For $5 they bring you a dildo and you can go to town. Or… the most disgusting act. You can eat their pussy.

And I’ve seen it each and every time I go to Hong Kong. Dudes just out in the open eating the pussy of a girl that just got finger blasted by several other guys. And after that, ohh… it doesn’t stop there… the girl slides to the other side of the stage and another dude shares the same meal. Eating pussy galore.

Then those dudes go out in the city and eat the same street tacos, go to the same dive bars, and many times end up in the same hipster breweries drinking the same beer.

And people are worried about Corona Virus.

STAY HOME!

FUCKING STAY HOME!

Seriously. Stay home.

Typing this while I look outside my window as a homeless man folds his sleeping bag with his buddy.

Yes.

Stay home all you homeless people.

All the poor people that have no other choice.

Stay home.

Hoard everything.

Hoard it all.

Because you can.

YOU FUCKING SELFISH PIECE OF SHIT.

All of you.

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Including my own selfish piece of shit.

I went out on Friday. Tijuana was crowded. Dandy del Sur was crowded that I could barely find a seat. I just wanted tacos but they didn’t open until 9:30 pm.

After tacos, I went to Nelson, it was too crowded that I didn’t find a seat. I went home.

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Saturday I went outside again. Tijuana was still as active as ever. Pasaje Rodriguez was full. And I saw a few friends. After debating with myself, I decided to take out the small table that has my book inside Librería Babel and stood in the Pasaje with copies of my book.

It worked.

People bought it from me.

The first one was an Australian dude who was touring with a British dude. He didn’t hesitate. Asked me if I wrote it and what it was about, I told him, he bought it immediately.

I hope he enjoys it.

And just like that, I sold a few more copies. Friends that keep saying “I’m going to buy one” bought it once they saw me with my book.

Since I sold a few copies, I had some money in my wallet.

I Tijuanad again.

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Sunday was slow and depressing like Sundays tend to be. After all, I’m still not sure what I’m doing with my life or with work. And this Corona shit is making everything even more uncertain.

It’s not only me.

Everyone is uncertain.

How does that feel?

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My friend Daniela told me she wanted to buy a book from me. So I went out with my backpack with five books. Daniela told me she was in downtown. I never saw Daniela. Yet I still sold four books!

I sat down in Pasaje with my books and people just walking by bought it. And my buddy Mikey bought a copy as well.

And again, I went to Dandy del Sur. An older man sat next to me and we started talking about soccer. That conversation moved to talk about Tijuana. He said, “you seem to know a lot about this city.” In fact, I do, I just wrote a book. And pulled it out of my backpack.

He bought it.

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Monday I woke up feeling sick. I went to Calimax for breakfast ingredients and they were completely out of eggs, odd. I turned around, and the toilet paper aisle was also empty. Pasta and canned goods were almost empty but still had some.

I panicked for a second.

Then I walked to the Oxxo less than a block away and they were fully stocked with toilet paper and eggs.

I cooked breakfast then walked around the city to see what the TP status was. Most stores still had plenty of TP.

No panic here. Found a place that sells tepache though.

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I stayed home after that. Like a good boy. And I didn’t drink.

It’s been like 10 days the whole year that I haven’t had a drink. Monday was one of them.

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Tuesday seemed like it was going to go that way.

And here’s Chapter 24:

Tap Tuesday. Fuck it. I was hungry and thirsty and still wanted to see how the city was acting. Norte had people, but it wasn’t crowded. I counted. 29 people including myself. More people were arriving by the time I was leaving.

I saw an Argentinean that I met a week before. He is cool. He is smart. So we talk a lot. About everything and anything. After four pints over at Norte, it was time to go home, but he said caguama at Tropics, I counter offered with caguama at Nelson. We went to Nelson, but the bartender wasn’t there. She hates work, so she usually just leaves the fucking bar and walks around the city. After a few minutes of not seeing her, Argentinean said let’s go to Insurgente.

Chapter 24.

One pint at Insurgente and home was the plan. While having the pint, a dude arrived with a girl wearing a white fur coat (probably faux). The girl sat next to me and it was obvious she was a bit drunk. She grabbed my ass.

WTF!

Just like that. And she was with a dude. Dude didn’t seem to care.

I stepped away a bit, because, awkward and simply, no.

She reached and grabbed my hand.

Again, I just took it away, but she kept trying to touch me. She even went for my cock several times. IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING INSURGENTE and in the middle of a fucking Corona pandemic.

I did the “ooo” no girl. No girl. Don’t do that. And stepped away.

She gave 0 fucks and kept trying. She asked for more beer and pulled out a $100 bill to pay. I was like, no girl, you can’t do that, they are closing and no one pays with a $100 bill. Her purse was filled with money (several hundred dollars and a few hundred pesos). I reached into her purse, grabbed 200 pesos, and paid for her.

Again, 0 fucks given. She was just reaching for my cock and trying to kiss me (while the other dude just sat next to her).

Chapter 24.

I should have had some food. I should have some food right now. My head hurts. But it’s mostly because I didn’t eat much yesterday.

Chapter 24.

Let’s go to Dandy’s.

Dandy’s.

Forever Dandy’s.

Chapter 24. Beers at Dandy’s. Girl paid for the four beers. Guys went to have a cigarette (not smoking inside Dandy’s). Girl stayed behind with me while she threw herself at me and kissed me. I pecked her and kept pushing her aside.

TITTIES OUT!

In the middle of fucking Dandy’s she just pulled her titties out and force my face in them.

Yeah.

No girl.

The dude came back. Girl still had her titties out. Dude tried to kiss her. Girl wasn’t having any of it. Dude suggested we all go fuck her.

Oh yeah.

No.

I’m out.

Chapter 24 ended right there.

I literally had to put her titties back in her shirt because they were just still out in the middle of Dandy’s in the middle of the Corona Virus pandemic.

And Tijuana Tijuanas.

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I took an Uber home and passed out after watching a minute of Lord of the Rings.

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This post needs a picture. How about one of my faves for the book. It’s actually the back cover.

My blog is out of space still. I had to make this image from 5 mb to less than 1 mb. I also deleted a bunch of pictures of Selena Gomez, Robin Wright, Leo DiCaprio, and Gisele Bundchen.

So many paparazzi pictures in this blog that used to be about that. Crazy.