March 2020: Year is Going Fast – Keep Spamming my Book (Sorry) – Tijuana is Still Consuming Me

My neighbor just grabbed my butt a minute ago. I went out to grab coffee beans because I have none. Shitty Oxxo coffee and some yogurt. And on my way back, she was opening the gate. I told her I would open it for her.

And she grabbed my butt.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT YO!!!

She said my butt looked bigger than usual.

That’s me getting fat.

To make it even, I touched her butt back.

And now it’s Monday.

The second of March.

March has sold exactly 0 books through Amazon and only 17 pages have been read through KDP. I make 4 cents out of those 17 pages read.

I’m still obsessed with checking the stats on my book every other minute. It’s the first thing I think of when I wake up. Just checked again… yep. Nothing.

I made a bit over $400 in the month of February.

Thanks, friends and fans and whoever bought the book. We did it! We gave more money to Jeff Bezos! But yes, I am really thankful. Those $400 are the ones that are going to make the month of April a bit better (because I don’t get paid until April). March doesn’t look like the book is going to sell much, but I’ll be fine.

I’m not as broke as I feel I am. My bank account is really low and my student loans don’t stop harassing me. But I’ll be fine. I still have two deliveries to do, so that will cover almost rent. I did a bunch of photo jobs and writing jobs and I have a bunch more to do. So I’m sure I’ll be fine.

I should write more.

I made $400 from a book that took me almost half a year to write. I make $500 with a good story that takes me less than two weeks to write.

I should go back to writing for the magazine.


Spotify commercials are a reminder that I should get up, get some coffee, and do some push-ups. Thank you, Spotify commercials. I fucking hate you.


January was slow for some people, it didn’t feel slow to me. Compared to February, then yes. Holy shit February went fast. I feel like the bachelor party tour I did was months ago. It was just three weeks ago. I feel like I published my book just yesterday. It’s been a month.

Tijuana keeps consuming me. This weekend, though broke, I still got consumed.

Yesterday, I woke up feeling like a shitty depressed mess. Not sure why. It might have been because it was the first time I wake up to absolutely no one buying my book or no new reviews. It might have been because it was Sunday and I had no plans and I have no idea what I’m doing anymore.

It took me forever to get out of my bed. It took me forever to decide what I wanted for breakfast. I ended up getting a torta Cubana from the 24/7 place and bringing it to me to Nelson Bar around 3 pm. Torta breakfast. Caguama breakfast.

From there, I moved to Pasaje Rodríguez to just watch if anyone will buy my book. No one did. But some got sold over the weekend. And one got sold in Norte. Norte gave me the money right away. I already spent it.

After Pasaje, I was going to Dandy’s to enjoy the classic 2 x 1 and leave and then a wild drunken Tony Tee appeared out of Insurgente. He bought me a beer and we chatted for a while. Chatting with Tony about Tijuana is always good. I like to think I know a lot about Tijuana, but Tony Tee destroys me when it comes to Tijuana knowledge. Of who owns what and where and why. Like a girl that I like. I asked if he knew her. He tells me she comes from a very rich TJ family. Marrying up would be nice.

Connects. Contacts. I have them. I won’t be that broke. I hope.

Tony showed me new tacos that I’ve walked by a million times but never bothered to try. Tacos by some Poblanos over by the Jai Alai. The birria has a distinct kick to it. It’s still TJ style birria, but there’s something in there that has a bitter and pleasant taste. Their suadero is still not as good as any place in Mexico City, but it was big tasty tacos with the same kick that I am unsure what it is.

Good tacos. Definitely going back.

My shitty depressive Sunday was getting better. Tony Tee left because he was already too drunk and he is now a family responsible man with a shit ton of work.

I went to Nelson.

And there my shitty Sunday turned great Sunday went back to being a shitty Sunday. The bartender informed me that people that I thought didn’t exist, not only they exist, they co-existed together… in the bar! I’m talking about that betraying asshole. He was there with Bumble Girl. I haven’t even mentioned them in forever, but I can’t pretend they don’t cross my mind every once in a while.

Even typing it out infuriates me. Betrayal is the worst thing anyone can do. And it still makes me so fucking angry.

But I don’t let that anger consumed me. I had a beer. Calmed down. I had fun with the bartender and her new hookup. Then came home. Drunk. And still one more whiskey glass. Because I have nice ice. And nice ice is nice to have.


I bought a sponsor ad for my book on Facebook. The picture reached over 80 likes which translates to 0 sales. No one buys a book from a sponsored Facebook ad. They just click like and keep scrolling down.

I didn’t really pay for the ad. Facebook gave me a 100 pesos credit and I used that. I must say, for 20 pesos a day getting a bunch of likes seems worth it, but it is not. That’s the power of social media.


Saturday was a good day.

A dude that commented he was a fan and wanted to meet me to buy a copy of my book came down at around 3 pm. I met him at Insurgente and he bought the book from me. The first legit signed copy went to him. The rest I’ve been signing copies for friends and doesn’t feel genuine. He paid me for the book. I spent it on beers and a sandwich immediately.

After eating the sandwich in Colectivo, he got a phone call and bounced. Some family issues. I thought I scared him away because I’m a weird dude. Nah. He did have to bounce.

Already drunk on a Saturday afternoon and Andy and his gang (girlfriend, sister, and another friend) were in Norte Brewery. I went to join them.

FINALLY! Someone not giving me praise. Andy’s girlfriend told me what I already knew. What Chad told me. There are parts of the book that just throw you off. That the stories are there but I could have done a better job narrating.

I’m aware.

But I’m happy at the end result still. My first attempt at a book. And it’s out there.

And it happened again yesterday when Haydee told me “it’s a real book!” People think it’s like a Tijuana guide or a book with pictures.

No. It’s a book with shit tons of text.

We had beers at Norte then headed out to Verde y Crema for some oysters and cocktails. Fuck. I don’t want to admit it because that place gives me a weird unwelcoming snobby vibe, but they were DELICIOUS! Especially the mezcal cocktails were fantastic (for 130 pesos, worth it). Oysters go for around $2 each but they were garlicky nice. It’s probably because it’s oyster season (or the end of it).

After that, I hung out with my #1 fan and president of my fan club, Gaby.

We went to Dandys and then to the new bar by Beto “the Winchester.” The waitress there is stunningly beautiful and has a dorky boyfriend. She’s way too young for me. But she’s so damn pretty.

Gaby left because she had a flight to catch. I went home because I was already drunk.

Friday was something similar. I hung out with her all of Friday as well. And hung out with the other Reddit mod and his “girl.”

Ahhh.. .and yes. That Saturday morning I also played tennis with my Trump-supporting buddy. I beat him. I’m feeling better about my tennis game. They were good matches, but I still felt in control.


Point is, I’ve been busy and broke and busy and broke, but I’m getting paid a bit soon. Friday I worked on finishing the text. That’s done. That’s money in my pocket. Thursday and Wednesday I also worked on doing pictures for the next cover. That’s money in my pocket. Next cover (this Wednesday) is mine, and I get to deliver it. The cover after that will also be mine. Then not. Then probably again mine.

April is uncertain. March seems busy. I have a photo job to take care of tomorrow (perhaps two). Kevin, a good friend/fan, is in San Diego so I should go see him today. Wednesday more work and one of my last deliveries. Friday I have the event in Pasaje Rodriguez to sell my book and Saturday I might have to cross again to meet with a perhaps future gig…

Life!

This post needs a picture.

And I need to keep spamming my book. Screenshot for a picture in this post. I should have taken my good camera and pose with my book, but I didn’t feel like carrying it and editing and I hate getting my picture taken. So there. A bad picture of me with a few of the great reviews.

That review comparing me to Carrie Bradshaw is probably my favorite.

Yes.

BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY my book!

Here’s the link.

Just checked. Yep. Not one sold in March yet… not even pages read through Kindle Unlimited (besides those 17 pages). The rush is winding down. Not sure if I will accomplish my fantasy of at least selling 1,000 copies. It feels like that first month was my chance. Then this next month just a bit more. But I’m not sure what happens after that.

I got an email for a bachelor party tour. I told him what is up. I didn’t get a reply.

I should do more tours. I should get more photo gigs. I should pitch stories to my editors. I should continue writing my next book even if I don’t get out of Tijuana like I want too.

I’ll get to work.


 

 

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