Hanging Out With Bryan – Fuck 182 – Amanda Crew (Do You Know Her?!)


Word vomit time.

I have absolutely no plans or have no idea what I’m about to type.

Let’s see how this goes.

Yesterday my girlfriend and I hung out with Bryan.

Bryan only reads this blog after we hung out because he likes to read that he got mentioned.

Hey, Bryan. You made it to my blog yet again!

But don’t feel so special. Everyone that I meet someone it makes it to my blog.

That’s what my business cards should be like. “Hey. This is my business card. You will be mentioned in a shitty blog.” — Webpage.


We met up Bryan at Pasaje Rodríguez. We ate at Voodoo Stu’s and had a couple of beers and one mint julep for me. Like Bryan said, my girlfriend and I don’t bar hop, we food hop.


Stu served cajun sausage with a side of tater salad, homemade pickles, and rice topped with red beans. The sausage was SPICY but super good. The tater salad was my favorite. My girl ate my sides. Bryan didn’t eat shit because he a broke muthafucka.

After Stu’s, we went to Telefonica.



Teléfonica! TELEFONICA! (sing that with a cumbia beat, I know it makes no sense… but that’s what my girlfriend and I do every time we are on our way to Teléfonica).

Bryan has never been there until yesterday. What a dumb fuck.

YES BRYAN! I’m calling you a DUMB FUCK!

Seriously?! How can you not go to Teléfonica and live in Tijuana?! Shit is amazing!

Mah girl got the yushhhhhh, the tuna tostada. I got half a dozen of oysters. Bryan got a fish taco.

And mother fucking Bryan has never had an oyster before. So I had to give him an oyster.

“It tastes like the ocean,” he said. YES, THEY FUCKING DO!

We’ve been eating a lot of oysters.

We ate more oysters today.

2017 is the year I have eaten the most oysters. And it’s because of my girlfriend. And our new thing for oysters.

Dandy’s del Sur after Teléfonica to watch the Xolos game and drink more beer. MORE BEER!

Xolos lost.

It sucked.

Went back home. Watched shit tons of stand-up.

The full Lisa Lampanelli special from like 2009 + Ali Wong’s King Cobra. They are both great. I’ve watched them both before. I still laughed my ass off (LMFAO).



And drank some more.



I’m locked inside my room. My girlfriend is… uhh… with a socio-economic developer chick that wanted to see the apartment for her to get the job?!

It makes no sense….

But apparently, to get the job that she wants, someone has to come to the apartment to check out what shit looks like. It’s been over 15 minutes…. and I’m missing Jeopardy. I want to poke my head out… but I don’t want to ruin whatever the fuck is going on for her…

Back to yesterday. We just drank tons. I should stop drinking this much. We drank shitty Coors Light because they were very cheap in the store….

Bryan left shortly after 11 pm. Or something like that.

I just poked my head out. Girlfriend is still talking to her (random person) in the kitchen.

I’m hiding because “I don’t live here…”

I feel strange about this…

Girlfriend needs a job. And she really wants this job. It sounds like a perfect fit. It’s close to downtown. It’s about speaking in French (which she enjoys). And it pays okay. It pays… less than okay. It pays.

The hours are super weird.

But she needs a job.

When she’s not working, and I have no more photo missions… it feels like the first week when I met her. A vacation. Except I can’t be vacationing. I need to make money.

We wanted to go to Monterrey. I don’t think it’s going to happen. I need to make more money. She needs this job.

Fucking money.

And we need shit tons of money to fix her Visa status.

Fucking Visa.


I’m hungry.


Sunday I edited and sent the photos. It made Monday be empty.

Very empty.

And I woke up a bit hungover because I drank too much with Bryan.


Oh yeah.

And it’s mother fucking Monday celebrity throwback!!!

I haven’t even chosen a celebrity.

This is going to be your laziest celebrity choosing thing ever.

Jennifer Garner was on The Colbert Report. She is one of the nicest people ever. I always forget about her. But she seriously is super nice. It makes no sense. But she was always a pleasure to see. Even if you know she was annoyed that you were getting her picture, she was still super fucking nice. A pleasant girl. Too fucking nice.

True word vomit.


My blog is shitty and it’s okay.


I’m posting late because I had nothing to say. I still have nothing to say.

I have all these plans to write interesting shit. I want to write a book. I want to write a movie. I want to write articles because that’s how I make my living. I do nothing.

That’s what I did all day.



It took forever for my morning to begin. Once it began (with a breakfast burrito by my girlfriend), we went out to walk aimlessly.

She wanted to try a place called C-Biche. They obviously served Ceviche.

It’s very similar to the place she likes with oysters and La Cevicheria Nais. Except… it’s not as good.

The ceviche that I got was very meh. The tuna tostada my girl got was nothing compared to Teléfonica. I’ll give them this though, beers are cheap and oysters were alright.

We walked all the way over to that place.

Long ass fucking walk.

But very enjoyable.

And we drank and ate there.


It’s been half an hour and I just missed Jeopardy.


After C-Biche, we went to Bar Camichin. I haven’t been to that shit bar in over four years. I used to live around there. That’s why I went to that shit bar. There were three people in that shit bar. One of them was passed out on the bar.

Someone got shot in that shit bar a couple of years ago. The person got shot and the bar was robbed… of 500 pesos. That’s like fucking $30 dollar or less.


We played pool at Bar Camichin.

Hah. Just googled it. It has * 1-star review on Yelp.

Yep. It’s a real shit bar.

My girlfriend was wondering why I like those shit bars.

That’s why.

They are shit bars.

Took a long walk again. We wanted to play more pool. So we went to a nice pool hall in downtown near the apartment. Before getting there, she received a call for the person who is inspecting the apartment which makes no sense.

They scheduled the appointment for Jeopardy time (7:30 pm). Appraisal lady of life got here 15 minutes early.


Point of this whole word vomit is that I didn’t do shit for work today.

And I needed to do shit for work today.


Alright. Time to pick a random celebrity, barely edit the pics, post that shit, and go get food. My girlfriend was going to cook delicious pasta. I want that. I hope that appraisal bullshit lady leaves soon.


And there is so much fucked up shit in the world right now. Besides Trump. Anyone watch that shitty homeless lady who wasn’t homeless asking for money?! FUCK! They make more than $100 a day… or more! FUCK! For not working at all…. FUCK!




I’m using Lightroom to edit and shooting RAW nowadays.


Art director/editor/one of my many bosses emailed me what will be the cover in two weeks.

It looks nice.

My pictures will be the cover every other week or more often. Such a sweet gig. I’m glad I landed it somehow…

I hope I get to keep it for a while.



I just searched my hard drive and looked up the folder of May 22nd, 2010.

Basically 7 years ago today.

I shot Amanda Seyfried, Annalynne McCord, Lindsay Lohan, Michael C. Hall, Ryan Gosling, Zac Effron, and Amanda Crew.


Also… that May folder has pictures of my tiny ex-girlfriend. Weird….


I know who Amanda Crew is (after googling her). I remember they told me to shoot her because she was going to be in the movie Charlie St. Cloud… but fuck that shit… she’s the chick from Sex Drive! That movie is fairly good for how bad it truly is… (if that makes any fucking sense).

Oh shit! Something I didn’t mention.

The contract I rejected… well… I might do it after all.

But fuck. I might not get paid.




I want to only edit with Lightroom now. It’s nice. It’s like Photomechanic/Photoshop meshed together. I need to learn how to use it better.



For this next set, I’m just going to choose a few pictures and edit on Photos like I used too.



I fucking lied.

I’m liking Lightroom way too much. Though it takes a while to open on my computer, once it is open, it runs smoothly. Can’t do much but Lightroom and Spotify, but worth it. Lightroom is sooooo much better than Photos. And shooting RAW is sooooo much better than JPG (I’m an idiot for denying it for so long). These shots were JPG though. So couldn’t do much. I still fuck with the edit too hardcore.

Fuck. I need to upgrade RAM and get a new hard-drive.


Amanda Crew.

May 22nd, 2010. Exactly 7 years ago.

I’m not going to lie. Sometimes I miss that gig. It was such a rush….

Amanda Crew!

If you know who that is! Good job!

I’m not even sure she knows who she is….

Amanda Crew!


My girlfriend just opened the door.

She’s finally done…

Weird fucking thing.

They just wanted to make sure she wasn’t a criminal. What the actual fuck….

Back to Amanda Crew.

Let’s post this shit and go eat. I’m fucking hungry. 

That’s her arriving and being like “hey! you my driver!?” Yep. That was him. Now that I see this shot, focus is on the fucking cart and not her. Shit shot.

Her dude friend is like, “OMG! This is so much fun, OMG! paparazzi!”

And she’s like… lemme hold this hat like this.

Then she’s standing there like, “nope, not my bag, next one. sorry!”

Fucking Canadians.


Long lens shot. Looks nice. I edited it way too much.

And this … this is what happens when some fucker is flashing the fuck out of a celebrity when you can just shoot it with a fucking long lens. It’s nice when you time it at the same time. It looks odd. With a different light. But fuck man. You don’t need to flash.

Also. What the fuck are those boots!? She going to jump in puddles with them fucking boots, or what?!


Last two pictures.

Of meh.



I have no memory of this shoot. I barely even know who Amanda Crew is…

Weird shit.

I’m 2o days younger than her.

We were basically the same age when I shot this.

Weird fucking shit.



Girlfriend made pasta.

And you bet it’s fucking delicious.

This has been the worst word vomit ever.

Almost 2,000 words of vomit.

How does that make you feel?!

I have no idea what the rest of the week entails.



One response to “Hanging Out With Bryan – Fuck 182 – Amanda Crew (Do You Know Her?!)”

  1. Saying things like “Ooh! My tiny ex gf” surely gets new gf’s mad man, come on… Lol.

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