Time Wasting Monday – Netflix, Rain, Cold, And Drunk – Telling Shitty Jokes to Bradley Cooper

A gallon of coffee and pizza for breakfast.

It seems like I drink coffee more and more for less of the effect.

It feels like Sunday. Mostly because I “worked” on Saturday. And by worked, I mean I partied. But hey. I got paid for it so yes, it is work.

I have another work/party next week. Woo! Tijuana Adventure.

I still feel like I need a day or two to recover after a tour.


It’s time to get the week started.

No more fucking around.

Just maybe Zelda for a few hours… then work?

A couple photo missions this week. I’ll try to do them all tomorrow. More tacos. Try to find homeless guy again. And another for a story… Hmm… that one will have to wait. I still have to do phone calls/emails and figure out when it will be best to shoot. And it will most likely be at night time.

But yay! Work. Forced work! Meaning I can’t be lazy and not do it. Or get satisfied with the little money I have. And the little money I’ll be getting paid.

I haven’t been published in over a month. Why? Because I haven’t sent shit in over a month…

Well. I sent something last week. No idea when that will be published. And something I sent months ago should publish this Wednesday.

Funny how freelance writing and publishing works.

I still want to get a paid column with a Tijuana focus. I’ve been wanting that for a couple of years.

And that’s why I word vomit. Because it’s my outlet to talk about Tijuana (and all the stupid shit I do). Of course, if I was getting paid: the language would be way more proper, the tone would be more professional, I would quote people, and I wouldn’t talk much about myself and my relationship like I do here.

Wasted my morning by waking up really late and then on Reddit. I watched that new John Oliver Last Week Tonight. It’s about the internet. And how much time we waste on it.

If you are reading this. You know you are just wasting your time because we all have time to waste.

Especially me. That I type this daily. I waste my time until it’s time to see my girlfriend.

I watched two movies yesterday. One with my girlfriend. The other one without.

Bottom of the World. A psychological thriller that made little sense, sometimes has poor acting, but with beautiful scenery and colors. It was okay. My girlfriend didn’t like it much. It’s not very long, so it’s not that much of a waste of time. Time you could be spending on the internet. Time that I could be spending playing Zelda.

Second movie.

Silver Linings Playbook.

Silly romantic comedy that my girlfriend wanted me to watch. 10 minutes into the movie, she had to talk to her friend for hours. I watched the movie by myself. She talked to her friend on the phone for a long long time that she finished a bottle of wine.

I don’t understand women.

She had to do it.

Like she had no choice.

She had to listen to her friend talk on the phone. Fuck the phone. I hate the fucking phone. AHHHH.

And I had to attend a phone call this morning about work. It was okay.

Back to the movie.

It was Bradley Cooper. And I’m going to post his pictures today because it’s Celebrity throwback Monday bullshit!

This movie, I did feel like it was a tad too long. It’s full of Hollywood cliches. But I liked it. It’s those movies craftily design to give you the feels. You know from the very beginning he is going to get the other girl and it’s going to end with a “love you” cheesy bullshit at the end. It even has a montage to show you how they fell in love.



Look at them practicing dancing. That’s how people fall in love.

And no shit… I do feel like going to dance lessons with my girlfriend. I CANT DANCE FOR SHIT. And it would be nice to dance with her.

Maybe that will stop her karaoke craving. I can’t stand that humiliation…



Dancing is another thing I’m just fucking horrible at and the humiliation.


Work email. I got to re-write something. I should get to it.

I’m still in my pajamas.

It’s been cold. Yesterday it was stupid cold.

The Facebook album pictures finally uploaded after trying several times. Tip 1. Upload by small batches of 20 or so instead of trying to dump 120 pictures.

Tip 1. Upload by small batches of 20 or so instead of trying to dump 120 pictures.

Tip 2. Pictures of kids and couples with kids get 15912093810801 of likes on no merit except that babies are popular, parents are two people, so the chances of people giving likes are a lot. I had 52 notifications and it was a tía that gave like to every single individual photo. This morning I also had near 100 notifications of random people liking the pictures…

I wonder how those girls that show their ass and have millions of likes wake up too. A million messages and notifications. No wonder they are always on their phone. I’m always on the phone. But I’m either catching Pokémon or talking to my girlfriend (or giving likes to those other girls that keep showing their asses on IG).

We all waste time. Especially on the internet.

After the movie, my friends from Oaxaca were at the restaurant I wanted to go too (Voodoo Stu). And I wanted to meet with them. My girlfriend said that I should go by myself. And we got into a small fight and I left.

Just like in the romantic comedy movie. She ran to catch up with me.

And we went out. Though she was tired and tipsy from the bottle of wine.

It was fun times. Voodoo Stu’s food is great. Braised pork shoulder with chayote pureé and zucchini in tomato sauce. A couple beers there with my friends. Catching up. Talking about their town. Talking about this town. Violence is getting shitty in both. Mexico can be shitty. The world is a tad crazy.

A couple beers in Teorema/Lúdica (Black IPA and double IPA), and back home.

Now Monday.

She left early to go to work. I overslept. And now I really have to work. Especially because editor is knocking on the door. I have to re-write. And I should write all that other crap that I said I was going to write.


Celebrity throwback Monday.

Keeping it short because I should do other work that pays.


Re-wrote it before even looking up the pictures of Bradley Cooper.

Found three folders. Not plugging in my hard-drive.

So my coolest story about Bradley Cooper is the one time I made him laugh. The pictures don’t show it. The pictures of that day are extremely shitty…

But in general, he was a cool guy. I mentioned him before because I got free jeans once because he was wearing a brand, the brand wanted the picture, they paid the office with jeans instead of money. They were really nice jeans.

Speaking of jeans. I have three new pairs. I’ve only wore two. One that I love and are comfortable, but my girlfriend says they are way too big on me. The other that are really tight and kind of comfortable, and my girlfriend says they are great on me…


Point is. Bradley Cooper. Going through security. When TSA did one of their “bomb drills,” or some stupid shit like that. They did it once a week. A TSA agent yells some sort of secret word. Then they all yell some stupid secret word. The whole airport freezes and nobody can move until something happens. Everyone gets scared and then it resumes to being normal.

Bradley Cooper was going through security when this happened. I was a few feet away from him. We both couldn’t move otherwise TSA gives you shit for security breach or whatever. The airport is dead silent. Things are about to resume… and I just tell Bradley Cooper:

“GO MAN! THEY NEED YOU! You are on the A-Team!”

He chuckled.

I’m proud of that moment.

Obviously, the A-Team movie was just out, or about to come out. Otherwise, that joke would make 0 sense.

I know it sounds dumb like that story didn’t really happen. But it did. Once you saw celebrities every day it was second nature to joke with them. Previous stories include in how I made 50-Cent laugh once. Or when I talked to Henry Rollins. Or when Ryan Dunn slapped the fuck out of me because I asked him.


Time to edit Bradley Cooper pictures.

SO! YOU! Can check them out.

Wow. My re-write was shitty. Thank Yisus I have an awesome roommate who actually studied the English language that helped me correct the fuck out of it.

I’ll send it soon after.

Three folders of Bradley Cooper. I saw him more than that. I only remember the time I did that shitty joke.

These are from January 23, 2010. Don’t remember the day at all.

These are from March 3rd, 2010. Again. Don’t remember the day at all. But I think this was the shot that gave me those free jeans.

See. He seemed cool. Both times smiled when I said something like have a good day Bradley or some shit like that. It was customary. Be nice to the celebrity. I hate people that think paparazzi are assholes on purpose. Yes. There were a lot that ruin the business. But you want a picture of a celebrity smiling. Not being a dick… or it depends. I tried to always be super nice.

And finally.

February 8th, 2010. I know this was the day I did that shitty joke. Pictures are really bad though. The day I remember the best and I don’t have the pictures to show for it.

Word vomit done.

I’m still unsure of why I’m doing this.

But I’ll keep doing it…..

Now time to work. Ahem. Zelda.

NO! For reals! WORK!


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