I’m Moving to Riverside to MAGA – Got the Master Sword – UCSD All Day Tomorrow

I woke up with an itch to rant. So… sit back, fasten your seatbelts, and relax baby. This is going to get stupid (like always).

It’s Wednesday.

That means the new cover story comes out on the Reader.

It also means that Letters to the Reader come in. And it is one of my favorite sections.

That’s the last part of the letters sent. Most are talking about Tijuana, in a nice fashion.

But then you get this guy.

Who wants me (or other writers) to cover Orange County… or Riverside!?!

So there you have it.

I’m moving to Riverside. To make Riverside great again! Not Mexico! AMERICA! America has to be great again! Mexico can’t be great again! It has never been great! Mexico can always be shit! America must be great! We are the greatest country!

And there are so many interesting things to cover in Riverside!

I was going to rant in the comment section.

And I want to rant more and more. But what’s the point? Point is always moot.

No matter what you say, that dude will never be convinced about Tijuana or Mexico. We are the foreign enemy. The ones taking advantage of the United States. We don’t deserve that beautiful land separated by a shitty border wall. In fact. Make a gigantic pointless border wall. I can’t believe people still support that fucking nonsense. And people still defend it with “it work in China,” when no, it fucking didn’t. And that was thousands of years ago and it fucking didn’t.

What!? Mexicans don’t have the technology of a fucking shovel!? OR a ladder?! Or some rope?!

What about a pipe bomb? That would put a hole in your fucking expensive wall. Several bombs?

What about drones? Those can fly over the border easily. And them fuckers are just getting cheaper. Soon they’ll be able to carry babies. So babies will be strapped to drones and flying over the border. Or the drugs that you beg your government to keep out while at the same time consuming all of them.

Worse of it is that illegal immigration is on the decline since a few years back. No one wants to live in the Trump America.

You know how you keep immigrants out? Make your country extremely shitty that they are content in whatever shitty country they came from. And America is going in that direction.

Not to mention the classic “America” is a fucking continent, not your country bit that everyone in the continent likes to remind “Americans.”

I’m never sure if these people are trolling or are just fucking plain stupid.

I think I’m done ranting.

I couldn’t sleep yesterday after my girlfriend and I watch the shittiest Seth MacFarlane movie.

“A Million Ways to Die in the West.”

This review by Roger Ebert is on point.

I didn’t even know who Roger Ebert was until reading that review. It’s so spot on.

Shit. Dude already died. That review is actually by Brian Tallerico. Whoever that fucker is.

My girlfriend sadly liked the movie.

I obviously didn’t.

It has a few funny parts. And you can tell they spend a lot of money in effects and other shit. Just to be ruined with horrible scenes that seem to be shot by High Schoolers.

Seth MacFarlane is a horrible actor. Voice actor he is great. But he has no charm. The movie was like a very long unfunny episode of Family Guy. You know those episodes where you are just like “I guess this one sucks.” Which unfortunately is every other episode. But imagine stretching that shitty episode for two hours. The same shitty jokes.

And it dragged forever.

At least the music was fantastic. MacFarlane always makes sure the music is fantastic and I will always appreciate that.

But casting oneself in a movie he directed, produced, and starred in the leading role, is not a good fucking idea.

It felt like he did the movie just to try to hit on Charlize Theron in real life. The rest of the cast was actually pretty damn good. But MacFarlane… sigh. He was just so damn bland (maybe it was all the make-up he caked on). And the jokes were the same, over, and over, and over again. Movie could have lasted 45 minutes less.

Oops. I continued ranting.

We went to bed around 11:12 pm. But I just laid there. Wondering what the fuck am I doing? Not about her. But about life. And I started to get existentialist about it. Wanted to just give up living. What was the point?

My girlfriend has gotten like that before. And it’s shitty. But I didn’t know what to do. So I started having all these thoughts of self-hatred. Thoughts like “shit, I fucked it up. I shouldn’t have done this or that. I just ruined myself.” I always feel like I ruin everything.

And I started crying.

For no goddamn good reason.

So I decided to get out of bed and get to Zelda. Since I haven’t been playing at all.

And I cheated. I regret it. But I fucking cheated.

I wanted the Master Sword. I explored all around Lost Woods. Wasted shit tons of time looking for the Korok Maraca guy (Hestu). Couldn’t find him. Went inside the Lost Woods. Got lost like always and got frustrated.

So I googled it.

I just read the phrase “follow the drift of the embers,” or some shit like that and I stopped reading. That’s all I needed to know.

I’m not sure when I would have figured that out. I tried talking to everyone in the surrounding stables for some hints, they all just said that the Master Sword was in there. I fucking knew that. The Master Sword has been commonly found in the Lost Woods for generations of Zeldas. Even some wood tunnels reminded me so much of a Link to the Past.

And I found it. Once I knew where to go, it was pretty easy. And I had enough hearts for the Master Sword.


I got me the Master Sword.

Did the Shrine that was nearby. That one took me a while to figure out.

Then I started doing some other silly challenge shit, lost twice, and decided it was time for bed since it was past 1 am.

Moving forward.

Tomorrow I have a full day of photography work. I got to wake up early to go all the way to La Jolla. I’ll use public transit this time instead of borrowing my brother’s car.

Then on Friday, I need to go all the way up there again. And I need to get an American cell phone to call Uber to see if they will give me a lease. Though I am unsure if I want to do that. I need a car, that’s for sure.

My girlfriend stopped reading this blog (she says she does, but I know she doesn’t).

She brought me a few things yesterday. Some cake, two lighters, and a drawing she made.

My favorite is the latter.

It’s a high schoolish looking drawing of us together. I can picture her drawing it on her desk while at her Godinez work. Somewhat of an accurate representation of us. And a crooked Triforce. She knows how much I love Zelda.

She thinks I don’t cherish the drawing. I do. I totally do. We’re so fucking cheesy together.

She made me feel bad about something I did in the house. And I was thinking about surprising her and I stupidly told her about it. She’s horrible at surprises.

She begged me and begged me to let her know what was on my mind. I ignored her. Which made her mad because she can’t just wait for a fucking surprise.

And I’m tempted at writing about it here. But I have a feeling that this time she might read all this crap.

So I’ll surprise her today.

I’m tempted at posting the drawing she made. But not sure if that will make her mad. Maybe tomorrow. And I’ll talk about the surprise (it’s not that impressive).


I already send the emails I needed to send.

I’m already done with this word vomit.

I’m stuck in the apartment today because I’m waiting for the plumber to fix the toilet (which is leaking even worse now).

I pitched stories on Monday. I should work on those.

I have the whole day to do whatever I want. I should work. But Zelda is so tempting. But I will work.

Here’s a picture of a puppy just so this post has something cute as a picture instead of a shitty screen cap of the letters sent to the Reader.

That’s Laika the puppy. I shot her yesterday while shooting other stuff for an article that I’m not writing. The puppy menstruated on my foot.

And tomorrow.

Tomorrow I’ll be spending the whole day in UCSD. From very early to really late. I’ll word vomit again from my iPad or something. The iPhone might be a better and faster choice. I’ll just grab the iPad so I can read a book.




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