^That’s pretty much how I feel.
And I can’t help myself. I want to shout it from the top of a mountain.
This is not a love story.
It’s a dopamine story.
We’re both conscious that it is the dopamine in our brains making us feel this way. This connected. Feeling this good. Feeling in love. Though it has been 5 days, I can’t spend another day without her. And we’re both nervous, but we both want to be together. Everything changed so quickly.
I seriously thought I was going to be a bachelor for life. Now I feel like I found my wife…. If either of us believed in marriage (I just wanted it to rhyme). I mean… I would.
Some strangers met and in that very same day they get married in a chapel in Las Vegas or some crazy shit like that. No one understands it. People assume they are crazy. Shit. I would say they are crazy. But now I get it. I would marry her on the spot if that’s what she wanted. We wanted.
We’re trying to take it slow. But it’s unavoidable. Again we woke up before the crack of dawn just to chat. Look at each other. Think of ourselves as extremely lucky. Talk about us. Talk about the world. I love looking at her eyes and seeing her think. She thinks a lot. I love her.
As soon as I typed that. And felt so dumb for saying it so fast, so soon, so public… she came into the room. I blog about her, she sends me little love emails. Spewing my feelings in a blog is the weirdest thing ever. This blog wasn’t supposed to be about that. Actually… I never exactly knew what this blog was about.
Her Uber ride just picked her up. I miss her.
My room is a mess…. my room… it’s not my room anymore. It’s our room. Weird.
My blog is not my blog anymore. It’s our blog.
It’s not anymore me me me me.
I did this. I did that.
I need to do this. I need to do that.
Now it’s WE.
And we drink beer.
She beats me to it. She drinks faster than me. :) Another dumb emoticon that express how I feel :)
She likes the beer I order for her. She almost always finishes her when I’m 84% done with mine. She also uses silly numbers in silly circumstances. I do that a lot.
“Example #388 of my insanity.
You know I’m crazy, right? I have intense feelings and I shouldn’t.”
That’s her.
Yep. She’s crazy. I believe I’m crazier. So… that’s good. Right?
This is not a love story.
This is a dopamine story.
I finished and sent an article yesterday. She looked for jobs. We actually worked for a couple hours each. Then I got hungry and we went for a burger and beers. Roommate was drinking and “working” at Plaza Fiesta. That same “work” I do. I should do food reviews and beer reviews again but for different sources. We joined my roommate. And drank some more, later went home.
We made future plans. We can’t be going out every night like we are doing. But we are still celebrating each other. Enjoying each other a bit too much.
We need to work.
I need to do more writing and do the things I said I was going to do. She wants to stay in Tijuana so she’s looking for a job. All of them seem to be very low paying. She is used to more. Way more. She has had great jobs. She speaks 5 languages… A hotel would be fitting. But they also seem to be low paying.
I’m going to finish the cover story.
Oops. Nope. I’m on reddit reading about politics and on Facebook criticizing a picture of food from one of my favorite tap rooms. Place is great and the food doesn’t look horrible. Photographer is just bad (or maybe it’s an iPhone pic). I don’t know. Fauna is way too good to look that bad online. They have some of the best beer and labels. The pic they sponsored was pretty sad.
Reddit.
Holy shit.
Politics are still crazy! Come on United States! This is way too much. Seriously with Kellyanne Conway? I should watch the Colbert Report. I wished she was here to watch it with me. She likes Bill Maher.
I’m glad I’m not living in that world. I mean… I am. Because it’s the real world. But right now I’m just focused on us.
Reddit.
I admin the /r/Tijuana subreddit. User angeldaniel has been posting a lot lately and I truly appreciate it. I have upvoted him +57 times already. I should do the reddit meeting soon. Weather is much nicer.
She uses 9gag.
That bothered me.
Of course nothing is going to be extremely perfect for both of us. We still have our flaws.
And guhhhh 9gag.
I got distracted with her again. Sorry. Everything reminds me of her.
Back to /r/Tijuana. Angel Daniel posted this:
I should write a book.
That sleazy nasty shit probably sells like gold. I’m no hypocrite. I’m aware that I have been in Zona Norte more times that I would like to admit. I have seen a lot of things. Around 37% of my Tijuana Adventures have ended in Zona Norte. I have seen thousands of dollars spent in a couple of hours. I have seen a lot. I have interviewed a lot.
I should write a book.
Again. Not that all sleaze. That would be horrible. At the same time it would make tons of money. But I’ve been wanting to write a Tijuana guide for a long long time. How does one get about getting an advance? That would be awesome. Because I know it would sell like hot cakes. That’s how confident I am in my writing skills.
And that confidence somehow comes from her. She’s inspiring me to do everything.
My life was just living my days waiting for my death.
Now it’s our life just living our days waiting for our death.
I hope it’s together while holding hands. How fucking cheesy am I going to get?
I don’t know. I can’t stop.
Breakfast, shower, work, then back with her.
This is not a love story.
Matingas 