Yesterday was another wasted day in which I accomplished nothing. I was too sick to work. All I did was watch Star Wars – Return of the Jedi, sleep, and then got depressed from my lack of productivity. Slept early. Way early. But I woke up feeling better, alas, still sick, but better. I remember what healthy feels like. When sick I have no idea how great it is to be healthy. I’ve been a sack of sick shit, doing nothing but coughing and sneezing and hiding under covers.
But enough. There is so much work to be done. A huge pile of ideas, some pre-approved, others, not so much. I am somewhat discourage and lack inspiration, but I have to force myself. Or I will end up broke again. And complaining about it. Endless cycle of living paycheck to paycheck. Enjoying the rollercoaster when it’s good, being mopey when it’s not.
I desire a staff job, or a real job, because of stability. I don’t think I am close to that. But I just had a nice meeting with someone who is a full time freelance REAL journalist and apparently I am going on the right track. I’m so far behind though.
This was my “healthy breakfast.”
“Never give up! Never surrender!” – James McCloud.
It was pretty much the same advice than that. Keep knocking on doors. When they ignore you, keep knocking until they tell you to fuck off. I am not good at knocking on doors. But I am determined to keep knocking. I got in the Reader somehow, and being a stubborn fuck was a part of it.
So now I need a list of potential publishers. I have some ideas, some big, some small. The thing is, diversify, and keep working. Keep working shit tons.
I have to set myself more real office work time. I have to push productivity and push aside rejections. It seems like I am going to be in the freelance work for a while. Good thing it has a snowball effect. The more you do it, the more connections, the better.
The next step.
The next step.
I should have taken that next step this year. It’s a big step. A step I must take.
The next step.
It involves shit tons of emailing, waiting, writing, and getting rejected. Or getting lucky.
The next step.
I have to take that next step while juggling everything else I had. It’s not much though sometimes it seems like a lot. Thus is the freelance life. A life I have to embrace.
Matingas 