First Monday of the month. I paid rent. I paid back a loan to my tío. I have scheduled posts for four social media accounts that I control and get paid for it. February is gone. It went fast. It went slow. So much shit happened.
I’m so fucking busy. I’m getting paid.
But I still want more.
I need to buy a car and more gear. And perhaps another iPhone (yes, another of the same phone).
I’m still not making much money. I’m still around the poverty line for a single American. But I’m doing better, and the job is ideal for what I want. Take pictures of food. Eat the food. Post about the food. What I get paid in a month is what I used to get paid in a week when I was photographing dance contests. But this job doesn’t kill me. On the contrary… it feeds me. And I have plenty of time and energy to keep doing my side quests.
All of 2025, I survived with side quests, freelancing tours, my merch, and my person. I didn’t make much money, but I survived comfortably and took a trip to New York.
Well… It’s now side quests + the new job. And more side quests.
2026 is going to treat me right.
Until it doesn’t.
I broke up with my girlfriend. I still hate calling her ex. I still love her and miss her very much. But the relationship stagnated. “We take each other for granted,” she said. I feel like she took me for granted… I talked about her all the time.
We took a break. After the break, the idea was to revive the relationship to how it was when it started.
After three days… it didn’t. I saw it stagnating again. It was uncomfortable (or so she said). And it was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.
After it… It felt like when my mom died. Not quite as painful, obviously. But just that pit in my stomach. That awful feeling. I felt destroyed.
And just when my mom died… my brain went into “I guess you have to go back to work now. Life keeps moving.”
Bury yourself in work.
And I have so much work. And a lot of haters.
I miss her so much. Both my mom and my girlfriend… ex-girlfriend. My favorite No Doubt song. I feel lonely. We used to text every day.
We texted every day for two and a half years. And now… nothing. I want to text her and be with her… I never understood when people said if you love someone, let it go… like WHY?! Don’t!
Just fight for it…
And though I’m lonely and in pain… this feels right. From her posts on her social… she seems to be doing better. The best that she can be. The woman I love that she stopped being when she was with me. She’s going back to that.
I didn’t tell many people about the break-up. Just if someone asked. I haven’t said much at all. This is the first time I say it publicly… and like I’ve written on this blog before. Her wish is privacy.
So that’s all I’ll write about her.
To make me feel better, I tell myself, “no es de a huevo tener novia.”
I don’t have to have a girlfriend.
Shit. Just looked to my left, and there’s the Polaroid-esque picture of us kissing in front of the Space Needle.
Oh. And tons of love notes. She left stuff in my apartment. Including a TV. She told me to throw everything away…
You know how I am… I can’t. Not even these old dusty love notes…
I don’t throw anything away.
I wrote that two weeks ago.
It is now mid-March. We’ve been apart for less than a month, yet it feels like forever. It’s only been two weeks of doing the social media gig (with four socials), yet it feels like forever.
I like it.
The gig. The other… I’m still confused about it.
Few things happened. I’ve been going out a lot and meeting with random people I barely know. They talk about their relationships. Relationships that lasted 6+ years. Or 10+ years. Or marriage.
Everyone has a tough time. Relationships are hard.
I saw my brother-in-law… or ex-brother-in-law. I almost cried while talking to him at the bar. He doesn’t seem to care but says that his sister is strong. And she is.
She texted me.
Caught me by surprise. It’s still odd not to text her daily… but I’m getting used to it. The solitude. The bachelor life. The dreams of what comes next. Growth.
I have a bunch of work to do.
I’m buying a new camera. I still haven’t repaid the iPhone loan… but that’s what a loan is for. I have till May to repay it.
It’s a used A7IV by my friend and photographer Ben Carpenter. It’s heavily used… which worries me. But it’s a good price, and I need a new camera. My A7II crapped out. Or at least it has happened twice at a gig already. It suddenly goes haywire and starts changing the settings uncontrollably. It’s working fine right now, but two malfunctions already… It is not reliable. It’s old as fuck. It’s heavily used. I need to update to continue doing the job.
I want the macro 105mm/2.8f Sigma… Or Nikon…
But I’ll have to sell everything that I have Sony and the rest… and switch it all to Nikon. Nikon ZF with the 105mm/2.8f Macro and another couple of lenses, and I’m set.
And perhaps a strobe.
And a car.
I have a lot of work to do.
I’m getting paid to do a video about the new arcade in town. I got paid for getting a haircut. I get paid to eat. And I’m still growing.
I have a lot of work to do.
I did a tour to the Xolos game.
I have a lot of work to do.
This blog needs a picture. Here’s me with Yoshi.
I don’t have a tour this weekend. I have a lot of content for my social media job, so I can work from home or on my phone whenever I feel like it, as long as I keep generating content and gaining new followers.
Not even halfway through March. Everything is paid (except my taxes, but soon). I have two tours in the last week of March. They paid the deposit, but I still need to get paid more, and people usually tip. There are still other days to do tours. And at the end of the month… main gig pays me. Covers all expenses.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Until the end of the year, and as long as they are happy with my work… I’ll keep doing it. Not sure for how long.
Thanks for reading.
Don’t forget to follow me on all social media!
NEW FUCKING TIKTOK cuz I was banned for no fucking reason fuck.
Follow me on Instagram and book me for a photoshoot!
Subscribe to my Patreon to support me and to get full-size galleries and photo albums!
Subscribe to my Substack, HERE! This blog makes me no money.
Subscribe to my YouTube channel. The more subscribers, the more money, the more time I have to upload cool shit.
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Read all my articles on the Reader. It is no longer printing! 148 covers and a dozen cover stories in print are now history.
Buy my books on Amazon, find them here!
Oh…
And now because I have the social media work… There are MORE SOCIAL MEDIA controlled by Matingas you should follow.
City Tacos: TikTok and Instagram.
Quiero Restaurants: TikTok and Instagram.
Tour de Tapas: TikTok and Instagram.
Fonda del Barrio: TikTok and Instagram.
They all also have Facebook, but you get the gist.
Follow the restaurants I work for and it helps me! And you to see delicious food and videos that I create. If that’s your thing.
Thanks for reading… much more work, writing, photos, videos, and so much work to do…!!!!
Matingas 
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