I’m sad.
I woke up sad. Did a bunch of shit posting. Then played F-Zero. Crashed. Got sad again.
I’m sad over the usual shit. I’m broke. And I have no income or job prospects.
But I also woke up sad because it’s Day of the Dead. And I woke up with my mom in my head. I miss her dearly. And I just want to talk to her.
I feel shitty for all the things I wanted to ask but didn’t. And now I’m here. Wanting to hear her voice again. For comfort.
Life is lonely once you lose your mom.
Halloween was great.
Halloween in Tijuana tends to always be great.
I dressed up in my tuxedo and got a Chewbacca mask (that I found on the ground). Got both cameras out and shot a lot. For the full album. Click HERE!
My girlfriend went out as a ninja. She looked amazing.
This is us:
Instagram Halloween post part 1:
The other pic was post 2. And I still have to do post 3.
And I posted on TikTok.
None of my TikToks have gone viral recently… It seemed to be so easy. Mash a bunch of videos, put a song, do a voiceover, and success. Not anymore. Barely breaks 1,000 views. That’s nothing.
Repost on IG. Repost on YouTube. Repost on Facebook. Total of 10,000 views or so.
It doesn’t make me money.
I’m not making any money.
I submitted an article to a different magazine for the first time in my life.
It got rejected.
I pitched stories.
I got ignored.
I pitched stories to the Reader (the usual magazine) and I also got ignored. At least I got published about my CDMX beer adventures.
“The beer scene in Mexico City is tiny compared to Baja’s”
Because it’s the travel section, I barely got paid. I made no money.
November starts broke. I hate it.
I need a job.
I gotta pick up my girlfriend soon. She will brighten up my day. (she did)
October went fast. It feels like I did a lot but I did nothing. That’s how my days have been lately. A lot of posting. A lot of working. No results. Like always, just a bunch of people telling me that they love my shit and I’m going to keep growing.
Benito still lived with me during October. He left the last week of that month. Now I have the extra room as a guest room and an office. Or a place to do a photoshoot. Or the room that my girlfriend starts to use every morning before she goes to work and the closet belongs to her.
I’m not sure what I’m doing with my life.
Like always.
2023 is about to end. Winter is slow season. Slow for tours. Slow for gigs. Slow for work. And the days end early.
By the time I’m eating breakfast, it’s almost dark (I eat breakfast late). And depression hits harder.
I’ll be fine.
I know I’ll be fine.
2023 started with a new real job. 2024 might do the same.
I need a job. Not sure if I want a job.
I hate waking up with nothing to do but to write without knowing if I’m going to get paid. So I don’t. I just think that I have great ideas and I should write them. But I don’t.
Writing is hard.
If I get a job, I want it to be in the beer industry.
I really want to be a brewer or work behind the scenes of a brewery, though they make no money. People tell me I should be a beertender instead. Tons of tips. Easy job.
I would like to work on either or. But definitely looking for a job in a field that I like.
And I like beer.
I like beer a little too much.
The Mexicali Beer Fest is next week. And includes Copa Baja, what seems to be the most competitive beer awards in Mexico. There are so many awards but the standards are so low. Everyone wins awards and their beers are not even that good.
Not in Copa Baja. It has the top judges and brewmasters in beer. And I’ll be surrounded by them.
That’s if… I manage to go. I’m too broke to pay for a hotel. I don’t have that many friends in Mexicali (that offer me a place to stay). So I have no idea what I’m going to do.
I want to go.
I got invited as a beerfluencer which minimizes my expenses… but there are expenses. And no income.
And this morning… I woke up with my girlfriend next to me. We had a nice night drinking wine. We had a nice morning.
Then she went to work.
And then I started fighting with people on the internet. That’s what I’m doing now. Still fighting with a fucking loser on Reddit instead of working. I’m waiting for him to reply because I already have a better reply ready for him. People on the internet can be fucking stupid. And I’m one of them. For interacting with them.
I talked to the editor of the magazine that rejected me. I know her. She’s nice. She encouraged me to keep pitching and told me they really want to work with me. I’m just so bad with rejection. And at pitching.
I’m used to doing whatever I want and then getting published. That doesn’t work in real life. Or it might soon. Getting close to a decade of being a published writer. The snowball keeps getting bigger and bigger. Then I forget about it and it melts. And I have to push it again and again.
I’ll be fine.
I need a job.
I don’t know if I want a job.
I could survive doing what I do. But I want to thrive.
I didn’t go train kickboxing this week. I’ve been working out solo at home. Out of nowhere, the dude that trains me told me he wants to come smoke this morning. I shall do that.
I got a PS4 for free. Not only that, it came with a handful of games and many gems.
I started playing Resident Evil 7: Biohazard while my girlfriend watched. Damn. That game is intense. And it came out 6 years ago?!?
I’ve been to broke to buy a PS4 or a new TV. But now I got one for free. I need to make way more money. I need to write more articles and get paid.
Other gems included a couple of God of Wars, Bloodborne, and Dark Souls. Also a couple of Assassin’s Creed but those games fucking suck.
I thought it included a Deadpool game. Turns out it’s the movie.
So now I also own Deadpool 2 on DVD.
I’m still addicted to F-Zero 99. Never been ranked higher than 500 in online videogames like this. I am on F-Zero. I’m good at this shit. I’ve been a huge fan of the series since the beginning. I know that it will be my next tattoo.
Oh.
And fucking Zelda Tears of the Kingdom. I’m still not even halfway done with that game and have so much more to do.
So instead of going out, I’ll be at home a lot playing a lot of videogames.
And get this. My girl doesn’t mind. She’s not the type that plays games. But if she can handle me at my nerdy true self… then I think we are going to be more than fine.
Interesting morning so far. And it’s already afternoon. I had breakfast late again.
It’s Friday. Which I dislike. Tijuana goes crazy and it doesn’t feel like the weekend to me.
Halloween post 3.
I need to make money and I’m not sure what is the way.
I should write. Even if I get rejected I can make more money. I can do more tours though I don’t have any clients. My Patreon is going to shit but that’s okay.
Give me money.
Buy my books.
Buy my posters.
Buy my prints.
Or support me.
If you enjoy the FULL HALLOWEEN ALBUM think about sending me some money so I can continue being a drunk and making content for you to enjoy.
Don’t forget to subscribe and like and all that shit. I know it’s stupid, but that’s how I make pennies that end up being full dollars. And if I get like A SHIT TON but a SHIT TON of pennies, I could make some full dollars.
Buy your Matingas Merch!!!
I need money before the year ends cuz I have a bunch of debt!
Buy my shit. Subscribe to my shit if you haven’t.
Buy my books on Amazon. I’m sure you’ll enjoy them.
Subscribe to my YouTube. I’ve only been uploading shorts…
Support me on Patreon (and get goodies!) Or hey… if you want to see me half naked…
Follow me on Instagram and book me for a photoshoot!
Follow me on TikTok just because it’s the thing we do in the future.
Book a Tijuana tour with Tijuana Adventure! This is going to be more expensive soon.
Read all my articles on the Reader. New cover out now!
Matingas 
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