Tío Bob is drinking a coffee at Aether in Pasaje in front of me. I’m drinking a beer like it’s my usual at Mamut. My life repeats itself.
Luis walked by. The percussionist of LeRa. He caught me while writing this text. It wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t great. Years ago we would be eating and drinking at Vooodoo Stu’s. But that place is no more.
My life repeats itself.
Tío Bob asks for money in the streets of Tj. He is talking to a nice old lady. He is being funny and animated like he usually is. He always has a story to tell. I wonder if this lady is buying the coffee. I wonder if they’ll end up together. They seem to be on a cute date. Though Tio Bob does have an aspect that he asks for money on the street, he also appears clean and never smells. The lady is smiling ear to ear enjoying herself.
I am depressed. And drinking without the appetite for drinking. Drinking because I don’t want to be home smoking. I could be drinking anything. Beer seems appropriate. It always does.
April was slow as fuck. Almost no gigs. I have to do a couple tomorrow, and that’s virtually all my April gigs. I did a couple of tours. Tours are back.
I am depressed because of the lack of gigs. I hate doing nothing. I hate not having money. Money is relevant. Because I have enough to live. Just not like I want to.
I’m infatuated with a new girl. I met her years ago. Didn’t really meet. More like she was in my presence. And I was in her presence. We were in each other’s presence. But never talked. Or introduce us to each other. I thought she didn’t like me. Turns out she is shyer than I am. She’s beautiful and mysterious. Since I saw her I thought she was cute and interesting. But we never talked.
Just added each other on Instagram. The Instagram poison. Four Instagrams now. She messaged me in one of them, I did in another, and suddenly, I check my Instagram to see if she messaged me back.
Then I check all my other Instagrams for activity, perhaps some business. No. Just other messages. People are nice for the most part. People enjoy my content.
Instagram is not real life.
My Tijuana Aventure book got a new lovely review. It says this:
I translated the book into Spanish a few months ago. I started posting it on my other website like I did with the original book. But this time in Spanish. It’s not going as great as I imagined. I don’t like the ending of my book in English, so this one will have a different ending. I haven’t decided what I want it to be, I just decided it has to be done soon.
You can buy a copy of my book, HERE!
As I was writing, I got interrupted by a drunk kid whose name I forgot. We met at Voodoo Stu’s. He was too drunk to be very cohesive. I couldn’t go back to writing. I went home with my depression.
I didn’t finish the text and saved it as a draft.
It is now May, a week later.
I met the shy and mysterious girl. It went great. I spent my weekend with her. I had one gig on Saturday taking pictures of a restaurant in La Mesa. Their new products. The owner of that place likes my work. He is hiring me for more gigs.
Besides the gig. I was intoxicated by her and with her. We didn’t drink or smoke much or ate for that matter. We were just together. For over 50 hours that felt like a moment. I’m not sure what it is. I just know I like it and I will keep pursuing it.
It’s just been 24 hours since I saw her last. And I want to see her again.
April is gone.
I got a new camera. That was the best part of it (and her). Besides that, it was a slow and horrible month. It ended with a bang (not literally). And May is here. May is busy. May has a lot going on.
It’s my birthday in two weeks. I’ll be 36. Strange.
I’ll turn 3 and a half since my mom’s death. My third birthday without her. She is always in my mind, life keeps going. And 36 seems over the hump. 72 is too old for my taste. And the future is going to be weird. Years will go by. And I’ll leave some texts behind.
I ate some shrooms in the form of a chocolate bar at the beginning of April. It somehow cured what I view as my alcoholism. I didn’t think I drank much. But I was always craving a beer. And not a cheap one. A nice hoppy beer. My tits were getting bigger. And after the shrooms… I just stopped. Cold turkey. For two weeks I didn’t drink. And when I drank again, it wasn’t the same.
I still drink. I still love beer. But it’s not the same. The difference between need and want. I needed to drink beer. I didn’t understand how people could go without drinking. And now I can easily go nights without drinking. Or thinking about it much. I drink more out of boredom than of need. I drink because I want to, not because I need to. That feels liberating.
May is going to be busy as fuck. So I’m not worried.
The bad. I need to fix my car asap. It needs to pass smog and I need to pay registration at the end of the month.
It’s also my birthday. That could be either bad or good. I don’t really like my birthday. I tend to dislike it. I’ve been getting better about it though.
The good. Tours are back. I did a couple of tours in May. I have one booked near the end of May for a bachelor tour that might go insane. And I have another possible tour soon. On one of my tours, I got a haircute with my client.
Haircute selfie at The Hills Barbershop with my new camera.
The client requested one of the best barbershops in Tijuana, I recommended The Hills. It went fantastic. From there we went neighborhood hopping and into Telefonica. Here’s the post:
I did a mother’s day set.
I don’t have as many sessions as I would like, but I got some.
This is what it looks like with people:
I did the macramé by myself with the help of Karla, and my sister-in-law’s assistant, Lupe. My idea for the future is a move to Ensenada. Do photography over there. As a restaurant photographer but more importantly and it’s where the money is… wedding photography. Baja_Bodas is what my fourth Instagram is called. In there I will be showcasing my people photography, portraits, events, sets, and more. It seems like my official profile is about me more than about my photography, hence it became simply Matingas_.
Also, TikTok is a thing. And it’s going alright for me. I post stupid shit and people seem to like it. Though sometimes I get mean messages and I interact to just remind myself to not to people on the internet and simply block them. I don’t even need to block them. But I like it.
So much happened in April. Nothing happened in April. It was a weird and somewhat bad month. May looks promising. I hope it is.
If you like me or my blog or my videos or pictures or whatever and want to support me… Please do so on Patreon. My drunk ass heavily appreciates it as I still don’t have a real income. Making it as an “artist” is not easy. Every $ is appreciated. And if you want to see me naked, now you can.
Once I make it. The rewards will be grand.
There will be a new drinking beer with Matingas soon… maybe… I am not sure. I am drinking less. Though I do enjoy making videos. So probably. I try to do too many things in life.
Matingas 